Whether you’re a grade-schooler or a grandparent, it’s good to have your priorities straight. Verizon versus Sprint, Team Edward versus Team Jacob, proper direction of the toilet paper roll … all this stuff is important to figure out.
What’s another crucial topic? Dating.
Fortunately, an 8-year-old boy in Ferndale, Michigan, is only too happy to tell it like it is. His name is Dawson, and during a recent car trip he waxed philosophical about grade school girls in general.
Dawson’s mom, Deanna Dudley Johnston, had the presence of mind to whip out her smartphone and hit “record.”
As a result, her son’s meticulous monologue is up to 55,000 views and counting on social media.
It all began with young Dawson sitting buckled up in the back seat, looking lost in meaningful thought. “What’s up with the girls?” prompted Johnston, just out of curiosity.
“So I’m waiting to get a girlfriend ‘til middle school,” Dawson patiently explained. He added that he’s simply preparing himself to deal with all that “girl drama.”
“Girl drama??” asked Mom disbelievingly. That’s exactly what the rest of us were wondering too, Dawson.
Fortunately, the self-assured young man was willing to act out a few examples. “Hey babe,” he piped up in his best female voice imitation, “do these shoes look good on me?”
Johnston began to chuckle, but Dawson was only getting warmed up in the helpful illustration department.
“Um, babe, what time are you gonna leave — it’s like 10:30 already,” he mimicked.
Mom was certainly amused, yet still not totally buying it. “Wait, who does that?” she inquired.
“YOU DO!” insisted her exasperated son, in no uncertain terms.
And as Johnston continued cracking up, Dawson went on to list all the ways her standard mom-like behavior seriously stresses him out.
Judging from this short video snippet, it’s entirely possible we have a budding young comic on our hands.
And that’s fantastic news for any potential girlfriends in Dawson’s future — because as almost everyone’s aware, ladies tend to like a guy who knows how to make them laugh.
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