Breaking: Cat “Reported” in Tree, Armed and Dangerous… We’re Not Kidding

By Ben Marquis
August 4, 2017 at 4:35pm

Probably since the dawn of time, there have been cats getting stuck in trees, so it isn’t exactly “breaking news” to report seeing a cat perched high above the ground among the branches.

But there was a picture of a cat lounging in a tree a few months back that began circulating online and among newsrooms due to a bit of controversy it provoked, as at a glance the cat appeared to be armed with an appropriately feline-sized “assault rifle.”

UPI reported in April on the armed and dangerous cat that had allegedly received a “verbal warning” from the local police department and was ultimately “apprehended and charged” by the authorities.

The picture was initially posted by the Newport Oregon Police Department on their Facebook page with a bit of tongue-in-cheek humor to go along with it.

“Reports of an armed cat this morning were unfounded,” the post revealed. “The feline was contacted by our canine and was determined to be in possession of a non-lethal branch.”

“The cat was given a verbal warning for posing with what could be mistaken as an assault rifle while wearing poor camouflage attire,” the department added.

Indeed, what appeared to be a small rifle was simply just a branch, but that didn’t stop some foolish anti-gunners from initially freaking out at first glance about an armed cat, and what that potentially meant more broadly in terms of how heavily armed the populace of the country truly is.

The Oregonian followed up on the humorous post by contacting the department to ask about it, where it was revealed that the armed cat in tree hadn’t actually been spotted within their jurisdiction.

In fact, the person who runs the department’s Facebook page, Kit O’Carra, admitted that she had found the picture herself online and decided to share it because she found it funny.

“The photo has been circulating the Internet and Facebook since last July, perhaps even earlier,” O’Carra stated. “I wrote the post putting our spin on it and having a little fun with it.”

Obviously, cats don’t need to carry firearms as they are already equipped with 10 razor-sharp retractable knives, er, claws, not to mention a mouth full of sharp teeth.

That said, if there were any place in the world where a cat could conceivably be carrying a gun, it would be right here in the home of the Second Amendment-protected right to keep and bear arms, the good ol’ well-armed United States of America. There is no word yet on if the NRA has hired the cat to appear in future commercials.

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