Commentary

Golfers Stumble Upon Prehistoric Battle Royale

Combined Shape

To Mark Twain, it was a good walk spoiled. To Tiger Woods, it was a great way to get access to hundreds of millions of dollars and/or a panoply of prescription medications on the controlled substances list.

For most of the rest of us, however, golf is a good excuse to put on preposterous clothes none of us would otherwise consider wearing and battle our college buddies on the links for a few crisp Hamiltons.

However, for an alligator and a python, the golf course was the site of a duel to the death — and it was all caught by one enterprising Facebooker.

According to the Orlando Sentinel, Richard Nadler and his buddies were playing The Golf Club at Fiddler’s Creek in Naples, Florida last Friday.

One assumes it was a normal round — an early weekend, beautiful weather, ridiculous looking shoes. (Can you tell I’m more of a tennis guy?)

Trending:
Report: Bidens Aggressively Dodged More Than $500,000 in Taxes Before Joe Demanded Americans Pay Their 'Fair Share'

However, as they made their way onto the back nine, things got a little hairy. Or, well, scaly.

“‘Wild’ day on the 10th hole today!” Nadler posted, along with a few photos.

“That’s a an alligator and a Burmese python entwined,” Nadler said. “The alligator seems to have the upper hand.” Yes, I’d say so.

Would you have run away if confronted with an alligator and a python?

Comments ranged from “Carry on … just like the guy still playing golf,” to “Good God, run,” to the perfunctory “I’ll bet it tastes just like chicken!”

As it so happens, I have had alligator before at a pretty decent dive bar/grill in the New Jersey sticks (of all places), and it does taste like chicken! (And with just the right amount of spice, it really hits the spot.) Burmese python I haven’t tried, but I’m up for it (and anyone who knows a place that serves a good python, just hit us up on Facebook).

Either way, I’m still with the “run” comment.

Related:
Masculinity Crisis: Poll Finds 24% of Men Think They Can't Beat a Rodent in a One-on-One Fight

No definitive word on who won this round of animal kingdom kumite, although WILX-TV says several witnesses apparently saw the alligator drag the snake into the pond.

So, what have we learned today?

Alligators will generally beat Burmese pythons in a battle royale, although the jury’s still out on venomous snakes. Golfers are either really brave or so addicted to the game they’ll literally play through an alligator and a python having it out near a water hazard. Most animals, if properly cooked, taste like slightly more exotic chicken.

Sounds about right.

H/T Wide Open Spaces

Please like and share on Facebook and Twitter with your thoughts on this encounter.

Truth and Accuracy

Submit a Correction →






We are committed to truth and accuracy in all of our journalism. Read our editorial standards.

Tags:
, , ,
Combined Shape
C. Douglas Golden is a writer who splits his time between the United States and Southeast Asia. Specializing in political commentary and world affairs, he's written for Conservative Tribune and The Western Journal since 2014.
C. Douglas Golden is a writer who splits his time between the United States and Southeast Asia. Specializing in political commentary and world affairs, he's written for Conservative Tribune and The Western Journal since 2014. Aside from politics, he enjoys spending time with his wife, literature (especially British comic novels and modern Japanese lit), indie rock, coffee, Formula One and football (of both American and world varieties).
Birthplace
Morristown, New Jersey
Education
Catholic University of America
Languages Spoken
English, Spanish
Topics of Expertise
American Politics, World Politics, Culture




Conversation