Remembering Columbine: She Was Shot by Gunman Then Forced To Play Dead Moments After Praying
Kacey Ruegsegger Johnson was 17 years old when two of her classmates planned and carried out a horrific attack on Columbine High School on April 20, 1999. In 2019, twenty years after the shooting, she shared her journey of healing with The Western Journal to encourage others to break the bondage of fear and to live victoriously.
On April 20, 1999, Johnson decided to spend her lunch period in the library, which was not normal. After looking for a friend she was supposed to meet, she realized that she didn’t have enough time to go to her parent’s house for lunch as she had originally planned.
After sitting down to read a magazine, she heard “popping noises” outside. The severity of the situation didn’t sink in until a teacher ran into the library yelling for everyone to hide under a table.
To read more about what happened on April 20, 1999, at Columbine High School, click here.
She told The Western Journal that she began to pray while hiding under a desk and that a slideshow of her life played through her mind.
“As I prayed, and the shooters came closer, a hand rested on my left shoulder,” she said. “I turned to see who could be there, but there was no one. I felt a peace come over me and knew I would be shot.”
A few moments later one of the shooters bent down and shot her.
The bones in her right shoulder were completely shattered as a result, but she ignored the pain and pretended to be dead in hopes that he would move on.
She and some of the others in the library were able to escape when the shooters left to check on explosives they had planted in the cafeteria.
The physical healing was extensive. Johnson went through 12 surgeries and needed bone donations in order to get to the point where she is today.
She never regained full function back to her arm, but she is incredibly thankful for the people who have helped her heal. She’s even become an advocate for bone, tissue and organ donations.
While she will always have physical scars from the attack, Johnson told The Western Journal that the emotional and mental scars have been even harder to work through.
She suffered from PTSD, manifesting itself in paranoia, fear and even panic attacks, for years after the shooting.
But eventually, she decided to fight against the oppressive grip that fear had on her life.
“And I finally decided I didn’t want fear, or the intentions of those shooters, to continue to have control over my life,” she said. “I didn’t want my second chance at living to be spent cowering in fear, but in overcoming and thriving despite those things.”
Now as a mother of four children, she is still learning how to not let her past experiences affect their childhood.
For many years Johnson thought she would homeschool her children to protect them from experiencing what she had, but she realized if she did, that decision would have been based on fear.
“I do not want to let the wounds of my heart to impact their childhood.”
So despite her fears, she sends her children to school and spends intentional time with them each morning.
“Mornings with my children are very important to me,” she said. “I sit with them at breakfast, pray over them and their school on the drive to drop them off. I spend the morning being sure that before they leave me they know they are loved.”
And, of course, she is extremely thankful each time they crawl back into her car after school.
Overall, Johnson has intentionally chosen to as a victor over her fear instead of a victim.
“While the journey is long and difficult, it is worth it,” she told The Western Journal. “I’ve seen so many beautiful things come out of the terrible events of my life. And each event kind of prepared me for the next.”
“So much healing has come from the moments that I have realized I get to choose how these events will impact my life. Sometimes those are small, daily choices and sometimes they are bigger, but each time I’ve chosen to reclaim my life, I’ve felt more free from the traumas of it.”
To read more about her story and her journey of healing, check out her book, “Over My Shoulder,” or follow her on Facebook.
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