Major Drink Maker Comes to Rescue After Gov't Shuts Down Kids' Lemonade Stands


Lemonade stands used to be a staple of summer, especially for the entrepreneurial young’uns among us. However, the specter of busybodies shutting them down due to the fact that they don’t have the proper permits has become an increasingly common trope, along with the concomitant disappearance of said lemonade stands.

Lemonade maker Country Time is hitting back, and bringing a legal team to the fight. The beverage maker, a brand of the Kraft Heinz company, is taking a stand for our country’s lemonade stands this summer via an initiative it’s calling “Legal-Ade.”

“All around the country, kids are getting busted for running their lemonade stands,” a news release from the company reads.

“Crazy, right? Why would anyone stop kids who are trying to build strong work habits, have fun and become young entrepreneurs? The reality is, they are being shut down because of old, arcane and very real permit laws. Look it up – it REALLY happens.

“But this summer will be different. The Country Time brand is taking a stand by introducing Legal-Ade: a crack team ready to straighten out lemonade stand-related permits and fines. Legal-Ade will defend kids’ right to a lemonade stand and all the benefits they bestow,” the statement continued.

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“Any child fined for running a lemonade stand without a permit can have his or her parent apply for reimbursement. To apply, simply upload the image of your child’s permit or fine along with a description of what your lemonade stand means to your child, in his or her own words. The submission will be reviewed by the Legal Ade team and if it complies with the terms, you will receive the exact amount to cover the permit or fine, up to $300.00.”

The total amount will be capped at $60,000 — although, quite frankly, if there are 200 lemonade stands shut down by cops this year, it’s going to be a sad, sad summer.

The company is also donating $1 for every retweet of the video to children’s charities up to $500,000.

On the company’s Twitter page, some parents shared some stories of their own — most of which are the kind to actually gladden your heart.

And some were amazed that this was even an issue:

However, if children do get busted, rest assured that Country Time will be on their side.

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Do you think that new laws should be passed protecting lemonade stands?
“Go ahead, kids. Run your lemonade stands. Country Time Legal-Ade is on your side and will protect you,” the news release concludes. “When life hands you outdated laws, make lemonade, and get Legal-Ade.”

You didn’t think they were getting through this without a “when life hands you lemons…” joke, did you?

All jokes aside, this is actually a pretty awesome way for corporate America to shine a bit of light on one of the most egregious examples of meddling officialdom we’ve seen.

With all of the problems going on in pretty much any town at any given time, don’t you think that busting kids for lemonade stands probably ought to be low on the agenda? You’re essentially teaching them that hard work and trying to make a few dollars will actually lose you money, so you might as well spend the summer inside with the Xbox.

Yes, of course this is probably generating a ton of publicity for Country Time, well more than any amount they’re going to spend on legal costs. Good. They deserve it. When a major corporation takes a stand for child entrepreneurship, I’m more than happy to salute them — and I think Americans sick of the nanny state ought to be, as well.

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C. Douglas Golden is a writer who splits his time between the United States and Southeast Asia. Specializing in political commentary and world affairs, he's written for Conservative Tribune and The Western Journal since 2014.
C. Douglas Golden is a writer who splits his time between the United States and Southeast Asia. Specializing in political commentary and world affairs, he's written for Conservative Tribune and The Western Journal since 2014. Aside from politics, he enjoys spending time with his wife, literature (especially British comic novels and modern Japanese lit), indie rock, coffee, Formula One and football (of both American and world varieties).
Morristown, New Jersey
Catholic University of America
Languages Spoken
English, Spanish
Topics of Expertise
American Politics, World Politics, Culture