I’ve only once been stuck in an airport on New Year’s Eve. During my college days, I was penny-wise, pound-foolish when it came to booking flights, and coming home from Los Angeles, I had a red-eye that took me from LAX at 12:30 a.m. to Houston in the early morning hours. From there, I had a two-hour delay and then a flight to Cleveland. Another delay and a flight back home to Newark, 17 hours later, where I belatedly celebrated with friends.
I’m not going to say how long ago this was because I hate dating myself. Suffice it to say that a) I was armed with a Mini-Disc player, even though the iPod was out; b) I was flying Continental Airlines, rest in peace; and c) when I was watching CNN while waiting for my flight to Houston to board, I wasn’t watching drunk CNN personalities using juvenile double entendres and saying uncomfortable things.
CNN’s New Year’s Eve celebration is really the only reason to watch the network, and I steadfastly refuse to watch more than I have to for work or for being stuck in terminal C at Newark International. Thus, I usually only see the highlights.
For those unaware, CNN celebrates the New Year by having all of its hosts imbibe in a convivial atmosphere, with Anderson Cooper and Andy Cohen anchoring the whole thing from Times Square. It was a bit different as the network rang in 2021, what with Times Square sparsely populated by socially distanced frontline workers. Aside from that, there was still plenty of drinking and the real attraction was still watching the po-faced cast of characters on CNN get blotto.
Here’s what I can usually ascertain from these bacchanalias. First, Don Lemon cannot hold his alcohol. He’s basically Leslie Knope in that “Parks and Recreation” drinking contest. Second, as much as Kathy Griffin deserved to lose her job as Anderson Cooper’s co-host after that minor gaucherie involving her holding up the bloodied, effigial head of Donald Trump back in 2017, I wish she was still there. Watching her destroy her bankability with everyone not in her dwindling cult audience was a beautiful thing.
Finally, what happens is that when you get CNN people drunk, they accidentally say accurate things. Which is why you can thank either Satan or Dionysus that Andy Cohen had enough alcohol to tell the truth about New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio on air.
In a clip that’s made the rounds on social media, Bravo talk-show host and media gadfly Cohen, after taking a shot, went off on Gotham’s mayor, imploring him to “do something with this city!”
For full context, de Blasio — who has the self-awareness of a lab hamster — is under fire for dancing in Times Square during the New Year’s celebration:
— NYC Mayor’s Office (@NYCMayorsOffice) January 1, 2021
Cohen was among the legion of the unimpressed.
After Cooper was visibly having trouble choking down his latest shot of hooch, Cohen said, “That’s how I felt when I saw Mayor de Blasio dancing.”
But it wasn’t just the mayor’s dancing that irritated Cohen.
I’m not gonna lie — an absolutely plastered Andy Cohen torching Bill de Blasio as a terrible mayor of New York City is the absolute perfect start to 2021.
— Curtis Houck (@CurtisHouck) January 1, 2021
“Do something with this city!” an animated Cohen said. “Honestly, get it together!”
Cooper, standing by, merely laughed. Which is probably the best thing to do when you consider that defending Bill de Blasio — particularly on New Year’s Eve, after that dance — wasn’t an easy thing to do.
Meghan McCain may have had the best take on this:
You’ve always been basically the worst political in modern history – but shutting down the NYC but having your own private party in Times Square is really *chefs kiss* the most tone deaf thing I may have ever seen a Mayor do. Everyone hates you DeBlasio. https://t.co/7N600IpTSQ
— Meghan McCain (@MeghanMcCain) January 1, 2021
De Blasio didn’t even consider allowing any socially distanced Times Square event for the public — but there he was. One hopes he was as drunk as Andy Cohen was so that he didn’t read the tweets during the dance and had enough of a hangover that he slept through the New Year’s Day blitz of minor-key rage:
Take note America: It’s ok for New York City’s Democrat Mayor Bill de Blasio to dance in Times Square to celebrate the New Year, but it’s not safe for you.https://t.co/n1A9RcKg8E
— Ronna McDaniel (@GOPChairwoman) January 2, 2021
Nobody can be in Times Square!!! It isn’t safe! Except the mayor and his wife. https://t.co/vHcnZ5PVMr
— Jake Schneider (@jacobkschneider) January 1, 2021
I can think of no better image to close out 2020 than the doltish mayor of New York awkwardly dancing in the quiet, deserted city that he impoverished and destroyed
— Matt Walsh (@MattWalshBlog) January 2, 2021
One suspects de Blasio managed to sleep through the day, because, according to Fox News, a representative for the mayor said it was “not the first time I’ve heard a drunk person complain about someone’s dance moves.”
That wasn’t quite what Andy Cohen was complaining about, sloshed though he may have been. It’s impossible to go through how bad de Blasio’s 2020 has been. There was his tone-deaf targeting of the Orthodox Jewish community, something he now admits was a mistake.
There was his decision to shut down in-person learning in New York City schools while still admitting they were safe, then adding he didn’t have any plan on how to reopen them, because city officals forgot to formulate one since they were so busy trying to keep them open. (Seriously.)
And meanwhile, as the de Blasio administration persecutes small businesses for coronavirus violations, it’s letting illegal street vendors do their thing no matter what.
This isn’t even touching the explosion of crime on de Blasio’s watch or his treatment of the NYPD, or his hypocrisy when it comes to which gatherings are OK and which aren’t. In short, Andy Cohen may have been blotto, but this is one case of “in vino veritas.”
De Blasio is term limited and his successor will be elected in 2021 and inaugurated shortly after New Year’s 2022. In short, a very tight Andy Cohen will have another reason to celebrate a year that’ll have to be better than this one.
I might even watch to see if that happens — and if Don Lemon can manage to stay awake.
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