Grieving Father Writes Heartbreaking Letter to 32-Day-Old Son That Passed Away
Losing a child is a terrible burden to bear. It goes against everything in us, flouting the natural order of birth, childhood, adulthood, old age, and death.
A lot of people suffer through their grief silently, suppressing their actual emotions to keep their feelings hidden and keep from making others uncomfortable, but that’s ultimately unhealthy and unrealistic.
Australian dad Greg Hughes lost his infant son, Riley, at only 32 days old. Three years ago his newborn baby contracted whooping cough, and was barely a month old before it claimed his life.
Hughes told Inside Edition that at first, the diagnosis had comforted him because he thought now they could move to treating the condition. “I probably didn’t understand at the time the gravity of the diagnosis and exactly how serious a predicament he was in,” he revealed.
All those hopes and dreams, all the plans they had for their son: gone. Now they’d never know what passions he would have, what his favorite food would be, or who he’d fall in love with. An entire lifetime was packed into 32 days and then taken from them.
Hughes struggled with his grief, as any honest parent would, but he found that as a man it was difficult in a different way.
“I learned quite early in the process of losing my son that men in particular aren’t overly effective communicators when it comes to how they’re feeling particularly when it comes to the loss of a child,” Hughes said.
“So I felt like putting myself out there I might encourage other dads to speak up and speak openly about what they were experiencing.”
He runs a blog, where his purpose is to “share my thoughts in the hope it will help others in a similar (situation).” On Aug. 27, he shared something he’d written for his son’s funeral.
“I was going through the box the other day,” he wrote on Facebook. “That awful, heartbreaking box that represents one of the last tenuous links you have remaining to your lost child. In it I found the letter I wrote and read out the day of his funeral.”
Among other things, he expressed his eagerness in inviting another male into the household and how the baby made him feel complete.
“You were a beautiful baby boy who reinstated the balance of power in a distinctly female dominated household. No more would I have to battle my daughter for the last Muesli Bar – and lose, or be dictated to by the whims of the Hughes women. I felt empowered. Little did I know that I was far from the only one smitten with you.”
He wrote of how everyone was enamored with his little blue-eyed boy. Riley’s sister valiantly protected him, his mother doted on him, and he was a very content baby.
“Life was perfect. Our family of four was complete.”
“And then…. you were gone.”
“I stand here completely bereft of words suitable to convey the enormity of loss I’m currently experiencing. I’m devastated, angry, heartbroken, empty, lost, confused, bewildered. My world has been thrown into chaos.”
He explained the struggles he’d faced before he came to understand that his son had been given to him, even for a short time, for a reason.
“You’ve changed the world in such a short period of time and you’ve made incredible changes to all of our lives.”
“Until I see you again, I love you Riley John.”
“Love, Dad.”
Perhaps seeing the genuine rawness of his emotions shared so publicly will help other grieving parents realize it’s not only acceptable, but better, to grieve openly and fully when someone you love is taken from you.
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