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Rand Paul Performs 'Scary' Version of 'Twas the Night Before Christmas' Blasting 4,000-Plus-Page Spending Bill

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Republican Sen. Rand Paul of Kentucky always has just the right way to highlight the outrages of the U.S. Senate, and this year he has a “scary” poetic Christmas tribute to how obscene the latest omnibus spending bill really is.

Paul, an ophthalmologist by trade, posted his cautionary tale to his Twitter account on Tuesday, warning the nation about just how badly this new budget bill will impact the country.

His version of the venerable holiday epic is titled “Twas the Week Before Christmas.”

“Twas the week before Christmas, and through the Senate and House, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse,” Paul started out. “The earmarks were hung by the chimney with care in hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.

“The senators were nestled all snug in their beds, while visions of pork danced in their heads. No budget was found, just mischief and debt, while the taxpayers hung their poor heads and wept.”

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The senator then invoked the waste-filled omnibus spending bill that zoomed through the Senate with some Republicans — led by GOP leader Mitch McConnell — backing it all the way.

“When what to my wondering eyes should appear? But a 4,000-page omni with endless debt year after year,” he said.

Paul proceeded to name all of this Santa’s reindeer, with three top Democrats — Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and President Joe Biden — among them.

“Now McConnell, now Schumer, now Pelosi and Vixen. On Biden, on Stupid, on Dumber and Blitzen. To debt, to bankruptcy, to free money for all. Now dash away, dash away, more cash for all,” he said in his video.

Do you want the spending bill passed?

As with similar warnings by Utah Sen. Mike Lee, Paul ended his recitation with a disclaimer for future generations.

“To the kids at home who may be horrified at this naughty Claus,” it said, “realize that this Claus has absolutely no relation to the magical St. Nick. No, this Claus is not magical. This Claus is that nonfiction Grinch of congressional creation. Children should avert their eyes for now, until the inevitable day when they meet this congressional Claus, who dishonestly left the children to pay the bill.”

The senator is 100 percent correct. This omnibus is a wasteful, country-destroying monster that should never be signed into law.

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Paul’s scary Christmas poetry is not his only effort to ridicule the legislation. He printed out the entire 4,000-plus-page bill and wheeled it out before reporters so they could see just how massive — and absurd — the whole thing really is.

“I brought with me the omni, 4,155 pages. When was it produced? In the dead of the night — 1:30 in the morning when it was released,” he said on Tuesday.

“Now people argue that it’s conservatives’ fault, you don’t have the Christmas spirit, somehow you’re holding up government,” the senator continued. “Well, whose job is it to produce this? The people in charge of spending. The people in charge of both of the parties.”

“But what’s the clamor? The clamor is to vote! ‘Vote now! Let’s get it done. Why are you standing in the way of spending?'” Paul asked.

He is right when he wonders about the rush to pass this massive spending bill and sign it into law. But he knows why. Much of the pork was jammed into the bill by members of Congress who are not returning and who want one more huge dip into the national treasury before their (mostly forced) retirements.

There is just so much wrong with this budget plan. One of the worst provisions is a limit on the use of funds by U.S. Customs and Border Protection to improve the security of our southern border, even as $410 million will go to improve border security in five Middle Eastern countries.

To name just a very few other provisions in this mess, there is $65 million for Pacific salmon and $3 million for “Pollinator-Friendly Practices on Roadsides and Highway Rights-of-Way,” nearly $4 million for a new “Michelle Obama Trail,” and millions of dollars for LGBT causes and facilities.

Rand Paul did bring a bit of levity to the situation, but his warning about the rush to pass this massive overspending bill is as dire as it can be. It is no joke that this legislation only adds to the indecent burden on America’s future generations.

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Warner Todd Huston has been writing editorials and news since 2001 but started his writing career penning articles about U.S. history back in the early 1990s. Huston has appeared on Fox News, Fox Business Network, CNN and several local Chicago news programs to discuss the issues of the day. Additionally, he is a regular guest on radio programs from coast to coast. Huston has also been a Breitbart News contributor since 2009. Warner works out of the Chicago area, a place he calls a "target-rich environment" for political news.
Warner Todd Huston has been writing editorials and news since 2001 but started his writing career penning articles about U.S. history back in the early 1990s. Huston has appeared on Fox News, Fox Business Network, CNN and several local Chicago news programs to discuss the issues of the day. Additionally, he is a regular guest on radio programs from coast to coast. Huston has also been a Breitbart News contributor since 2009. Warner works out of the Chicago area, a place he calls a "target-rich environment" for political news.




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