There’s no place as progressive as California.
While it sounds like something Nancy Pelosi chants before tapping her slippers together and disappearing in a plume of smoke and welfare checks, it’s actually pretty close to the truth. Residents of the Golden State have taken it upon themselves to crusade for social and environmental justice at every turn.
Enter Bird. The scooter startup exists during the “biggest revolution in transportation since the dawn of the Jet Age” according to CEO Travis VanderZanden.
Bird’s concept is deceptively simple short-range transportation using fossil fuel-free electric scooters, making it a perfect fit for the liberal city lifestyle.
The pricing is low as well. Besides your dignity, the adult scooters only cost $1 to unlock, and an additional 15 cents per mile after that.
A win/win for the left coast, right?
Well, as Instagram user Bird Graveyard shows us, the perfectly imperfect nature of humans is a wondrous thing to behold.
The Los Angeles Times reports that wanton scooter destruction is quickly becoming the norm, and it’s not just by bored kids.
Locals are fed up with the scooters, saying they rob the local culture, litter the streets, and cause all sorts of traffic and pedestrian problems.
Some are even combating the Al Gore-style rhetoric with cries of gentrification, devolving scooter sharing into another bout of the left-on-left game ‘who is more oppressed.’
Bird officials are largely silent about the wave of destruction, only taking time to denounce vandals and the social media accounts celebrating them.
The branded scooters are seen all over certain metro areas, often thrown into the grass or gutter after the user is finished with it.
But all good things must come to an end. Bird is being shunned by the people it once courted and turning into a real-life version of Percey Shelley’s ‘Ozymandias,’ complete with sand and all.
My name is Bird, king of kings; Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!
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