James Woods Trolls Warren: Do You Take Donations in 'Wampum?'
Oh, James Woods. How do we love you?
Let me count the ways — in 280 characters or less.
Woods has become many conservatives’ favorite Hollywood voice in recent years thanks to his barbs on social media. I’m still partial to Clint Eastwood, mind you, but Woods comes in a close second — if just because he uses Twitter as an instrument with the same mastery Jimi Hendrix demonstrated with the guitar.
I could go on and on about Woods’ greatest digital epigrams, but that will take all day.
This particular jab began when Massachusetts Sen. Elizabeth Warren — whose politics and, um, history involving this continent’s original inhabitants are well known to most readers — conspicuously announced that she wasn’t taking any donations from the National Rifle Association.
“I’ve never taken a penny from the NRA & I’m not going to start now. That’s why I’m taking the #NoNRAMoney pledge,” Warren tweeted on Sunday.
“If enough leaders join me, we can finally stand up to the gun lobbyists & get some real change.”
Warren announcing that she was going to refuse any donations from the NRA is a bit like me declaring I would refuse any offer to start as quarterback for the New England Patriots. Pocahontas, as you may well guess, isn’t going to be found on the firing range with her CZ 75B when Congress is on recess. (Her multitudinous bodyguards, however, are probably a bit more likely to engage in such activities.)
Woods was surprisingly moved by Warren’s pledge to reject any donations from the NRA. He was a bit confused, however, as to what methods of payment her campaign would take:
Can you mic drop on Twitter? Because that’s a mic drop if I’ve ever seen one.
Now, let me go all avant–garde here (in the literal sense of the term) and anticipate all of the inchoate rage this tweet (and the fact that it made me laugh hysterically) is going to generate from liberals.
Is this racist? No, of course not. Warren isn’t Native American. The only time she’s flouted her native heritage was when it helped her (allegedly, cough cough) secure a highly paid position at Harvard Law.
She now swears upon “Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee” that she didn’t really mean to fib and that her parents eloped because her father was Native American.
“That’s the story that my brothers and I all learned from our mom and our dad, from our grandparents, from all of our aunts and uncles,” she said, according to The Washington Post. “It’s a part of me, and nobody’s going to take that part of me away.”
“I know who I am and never used it for anything,” she added “Never got any benefit from it anywhere.” (Warren was described by Harvard officials as the “first woman of color” in its law school faculty in a piece published in Fordham Law review back in the 1990s.)
She won’t take a DNA test to prove this “part of me,” however, which I’m sure comes as a shock to nobody except some hopeful advertising execs at Ancestry.com
Now, of course, she’s bravely refusing to accept money from an organization that would actively take money away from her if the law allowed it. How will she ever survive?
And, more importantly, what’s the FEC’s limit on donations made in wampum? Woods (and America) need to know.
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