After years in a controlling and abusive relationship, I vowed to never again lose control. During that dark time of my life, I had no say in the things I did, who I spoke to, where I went, etc.
It took a long time for me to once again find my voice. Find my confidence.
Yet, even now when I don’t feel like I know what’s going or have control over a situation, my anxiety spirals out of control.
I get heart palpitations, sometimes left barely able to breathe. My mind immediately goes to the worst case scenario, feeling like the world is against me.
It’s in those moments I have to remind myself to turn to God in prayer. When I get stuck in my head, it takes over my entire being.
“When doubts filled my mind, your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer.” (Psalm 94:19)
You see, we like to think we can control what happens or make our own life plans. Silly us. That’s when God reminds us who’s really in control — and it’s usually for our own good, even if it has not yet been revealed.
A friend reminded me of this over a coffee a few weeks ago by telling me a story about her son.
Imagine when a toddler helps their parent bake banana bread and they are so excited to help crack the eggs. You’re watching nearby, sometimes cringing at what they’re doing, and may have to step in to remove the shell pieces from the batter.
Then that joyous moment comes when the bread emerges from the oven. Even though you did the mixing, the baking and the shell removing, they proudly boast about how they made that bread. As if completely on their own.
God is like the parent. Watching as we make our bread. Removing the shell pieces, stepping in to fix our mistakes then watching as we proudly boast our many accomplishments.
When really, it was God who was making the bread. We were just cracking the eggs. Shell pieces and all.
“You can make many plans, but the Lord’s purpose will prevail.” (Proverbs 19:21)
The Bible tells us over and over again not to worry, to cast our fears and anxiety on him (1 Peter 5:6-7, Isaiah 35:4, John 14:27).
It is in those moments we must turn to God in prayer. Asking for him to carry the heavy burden and worry from our heart. Take away our unbeliefs.
Knowing full and well that He is the one baking the bread, and His promises are true.
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