Any great drama needs some comic relief. So, as Stormy Daniels, President Donald Trump and Robert Mueller try to work their way through the quest to find some sort of minor campaign finance violation to validate a special counsel investigation about Trump/Russia collusion in the 2016 election, we have Daniels’ lawyer, Michael Avenatti.
Yes, America’s favorite tax-evading, sports car-racing, CNN-hijacking litigator has provided the most levity in a case that already involved a porn star and the liberal media accusing Rudy Giuliani of being a drunkard. That’s pretty darn impressive.
However, like any great showman, Avenatti continues to top himself. His latest beauty? He says he doesn’t really want to be on TV at the moment.
That remark comes as executives are looking to pair Daniels’ lawyer with another infamous figure in the Trump orbit, according to The New York Times.
“A television show featuring Michael Avenatti, the lawyer who is suing President Trump on behalf of a pornographic film actress, and the former White House communications director Anthony Scaramucci was pitched to two cable networks in recent weeks, people briefed on the matter said on Thursday,” The Times reported.
“The prominent television agent Jay Sures discussed with executives at CNN and MSNBC the concept of a program where the two men would square off, according to three people briefed on the issue. Both have become frequent cable network guests — Mr. Avenatti as one of Mr. Trump’s greatest antagonists, and Mr. Scaramucci as a loyalist to the president even after flaming out after less than two weeks at the White House.”
Oh, good. Because I don’t hear the *bleeeeep* sound coming from my TV set often enough. It’s high time we had two quasi-political figures deal with the issues of the day using the kind of language you usually only hear on an overbooked Spirit Airlines flight.
However, the project has hit a snag: It seems Avenatti simply doesn’t want to be on TV anymore. And yes, I laughed multiple times trying to type that sentence out.
“I have no interest in television right now,” Avenatti told The Times. “I enjoy my law practice and look forward to prevailing on behalf of my client Stormy Daniels.”
The first part of that statement is demonstrably false in every way possible, and anyone who takes it seriously has not been near a TV in the past three months. As we speak, Wolf Blitzer is trying to get CNN security to remove Avenatti’s sleeping bag and personal ephemera from under his desk, where the lawyer has taken up camp for the last six weeks. The only thing stopping his forcible removal is the fact that Alisyn Camerota is afraid it might affect the frequency of his appearances on “New Day.”
Alas, even if Avenatti is secretly camera-shy, he might have a good reason to do television in the end: the money. Avenatti reportedly didn’t pay taxes on his law firm for three years and owed roughly $5 million to the IRS, in addition to another $3 million to various people. He mysteriously came up with roughly $8 million right about the time he took the Stormy case, but the majority of that seems to have gone to his creditors. If court filings are to be believed, he has total assets of just over $400,000 — not exactly where you want to be financially when you’re a high-profile 47-year-old lawyer.
So, is that enough to get him in the same studio as the Mooch? I’d personally love to see a showdown between the hairless one and the hair gel master … for maybe three episodes. However, if that premise wears thin, Avenatti might have another opportunity over at the network he’s currently squatting at.
Yes, it seems that Avenatti has been partying with the people over at CNN up at Sag Harbor, including Don Lemon (who, as we’re familiar with, definitely knows how to party).
So, could this mean Avenatti’s headed for CNN permanently? I don’t see how this would be particularly different than the status quo other than the fact that he’d have a real desk and not be tucking himself into a flannel-lined L.L. Bean mummy sleeping bag in Blitzer’s office every night.
Personally, I think Avenatti should consider making the switch. He’s hilarious. He’s a great entertainer. I can’t get enough of him. I just wouldn’t want him representing me in traffic court or any other court of law, for that matter.
And, jog my memory here — isn’t that what he’s supposed to be doing for Stormy Daniels?
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