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Bruno Adopted After Adoption Applicant Sends In Hilarious Song 'Gimme That Fat Cat'

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You remember Bruno, don’t you? That’s actually more of a rhetorical question because Bruno is pretty tough to forget.

This spud-shaped, slothful, smoke-gray kitty was recently granted celebrity status across social media. All because Illinois-based Wright Way Rescue got a little inventive with his online adoption announcement.

For those who may have missed the hoopla, let’s just indulge in a quick refresher, shall we? Back in April, 7-year-old Bruno was owner-surrendered to Wright Way.

Jacoby Andrick, director of marketing and communications for Wright Way, told People magazine that the 25-pound, full-figured feline just “didn’t mesh very well” with his previous family.

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In all likelihood, that’s probably because Bruno brings some rather mind-blowing new facets to the term “finicky.” This quirky kitty only plays with a certain type of feather wand. He demands ear-scratches while he’s eating. He even has some uber-specific conditions about where he’ll drink water.

Bruno is unique in plenty of other ways, too. He’s got a few extra toes on his polydactyl paws — and oh yeah, he enjoys standing around on his hind legs, like some sort of giant fluffy parrot on a perch.

Anyway, here’s the major talking point: This buzzed-about “celebricat” is now officially off the market.



No doubt about it, competition for the rescue-described “thicc boy” was incredibly fierce. Hundreds of internet admirers submitted applications from all over the nation, even foreign countries.

But Chicagoan Lauren Paris managed to edge out all the others. As part of her earnest entreaty for Bruno, the actress and singer performed a sweet little musical ditty.

This wasn’t just any song, mind you. The tune was written by Paris’ pal Kathleen Gibson, who works for renowned comedy improv theater Second City.

Succinctly entitled “Gimme That Fat Cat,” the composition contains supportive refrains like “I love a cat shaped like a blob,” “real cats have curves,” and “I’m body PAWsitive.”

Paris shared her tender ballad with Wright Way, and a Bruno meet-and-greet was immediately arranged. “It was love at first sight,” she told BuzzFeed News, adding “No I did not cry when we said goodbye (yes I did).”

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Following that fateful encounter, the chunky Russian Blue was rapidly whisked away to his brand new “fur-ever” home. “Bruno has made his choice,” Wright Way joyfully proclaimed on Facebook, “and he found someone just as extra as him.”

The shelter also noted that Bruno seemed “very excited to live in a dope apartment overlooking Chicago, with luxury bedding and filtered water (all over the apartment of course).” Every persnickety kitty deserves plush accommodations like these.

Accordingly, Paris herself recently took to Instagram with some highly anticipated updates. She happily mentioned that the endearingly picky Bruno is making himself “at home real quick.”

Want to continue following this adorable fat cat’s high-maintenance adventures? You can catch up with Bruno on his very own Instagram feed, @TheeBrunoBartlett.

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Mary Bittel is a professional writer, marketer, and published author. She's produced content for several respected media organizations, and dozens of major industries including education, animal welfare, healthcare, finance, non-profit, technology, and entertainment. As an accomplished musician, she's also worked in a therapeutic teaching capacity with developmentally disabled children.
Mary Bittel is a professional writer, marketer, and published author. She's produced content for several respected media organizations, and dozens of major industries including education, animal welfare, healthcare, finance, non-profit, technology, and entertainment. As an accomplished musician, she's also worked in a therapeutic teaching capacity with developmentally disabled children. Additionally, she's an avid animal lover who has spent much of her life rehabilitating abused rescue canines.
Books Written
"The Hidden Treasury: Stories of Wonders and Wanderings"
Location
Illinois
Languages Spoken
English, French
Topics of Expertise
Music, Marketing, Nutrition, Fitness, Pet Care/Behavior, Cooking, Entertainment




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