LaVar Ball never met a hustle he didn’t like.
Or, if we’re being less charitable, Ball never met a situation he didn’t want to stick his hands in and exploit for his own personal gain and the aggrandizement of his own ego the size of a Montana sky.
Enter his newborn granddaughter, or as LaVar calls her, “Baby Baller Brand.”
LaVar’s oldest son Lonzo just welcomed his first child into the world, as he and girlfriend Denise Garcia now have Zoey Christina Ball in a crib at their home.
Lonzo Ball and Garcia are childhood sweethearts, having met in Chino Hills long before anyone knew who his LaVar was, and they’re trying to go the same route that LeBron James and Savannah Brinson have gone in building a family with deep roots in the soil that was there before fame came along.
LaVar Ball spoke to TMZ at his Big Baller Brand shop in Atlanta. As always, the old man was at no loss for words.
For one thing, he’s thrilled to be a grandpa, but he only lets people call him “grandpa” at home.
Outside the home? He’s self-styled with the nickname “the Big Baller CEO in the mix.”
And he’s already got plans to turn little Zoey into a money-making machine, making disturbing allusions to child labor in making the announcement.
He says he’s working on a new clothing line that the little one will model, and said of a newborn child, “she’s a worker.”
Ball then demonstrated that peculiarity of those who are both egotistical and clueless, like the kid in school who doesn’t know he’s being made fun of.
TMZ asked Ball about the possibility of a women’s JBA that Zoey could play in when she gets older, and also asked him about the vandalism of the LeBron James murals in Los Angeles.
“Somebody must be mad,” Ball said of the vandalism.
When the reporter said vandals certainly would not damage a Lonzo Ball mural, LaVar replied with a succinct: “Lonzo’s L.A.’s finest.”
There’s really no sport in it anymore, is there? Ball’s like a child’s talking doll where if you pull the string, he says something dumb.
There’s no word as to whether Ball sold any of his overpriced BBB merchandise at his Atlanta shop, and we are still awaiting confirmation from anyone who can prove they spent their own money to go to a Junior Basketball Association game.
But in LaVar Ball’s mind, Lonzo just had a million-dollar baby.
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