Nanny State Enforcers Proudly Line Up 'Evidence' of Recent Bust, Get Mercilessly Ridiculed When People Realize What It Is
There’s a plant that grows in Central and South America known around the world for its impact on culture, and more so for the botanical’s seemingly addictive qualities.
This alluring and mysterious plant isn’t the coca leaf — a vital precursor for cocaine — but the cacao tree. Seeds from the tree, typically called cocoa beans, are the foundation for virtually all chocolate in candy aisles around the globe.
While some may argue the sweet confections made from these beans are as addictive as any narcotic, thankfully the substance remains perfectly legal in most jurisdictions. Unfortunately for two men in the United Kingdom, police officers used their chocolate haul as a grounds for an invasive search and seizure.
“Great work by Officers for having the sweet smell of success to identify two males acting suspiciously,” the Lewisham Central Police posted on June 9. “The males were stopped and had bags full to the brim with confectionary that was obviously not bought for consumption by themselves. Approximately £367 seized.”
Great work by Officers for having the sweet smell of success to identify two males acting suspiciously. The males were stopped and had bags full to the brim with confectionary that was obviously not bought for consumption by themselves. Approximately £367 seized #SweetJustice pic.twitter.com/SxE3NFhR3n
— Lewisham Central Policing Team (@MPSLewishamCntl) June 9, 2023
The evidence lined up by police is clear — there are dozens of British treats such as Maltesers, Galaxy and Aero bars, and even proof of harder-hitting foreign treats like Red Bull.
This “bust” would be damning if, of course, chocolate was illegal.
A community note added by the social media platform formerly known as Twitter lays out the major problems this post seems to imply for those living under the United Kingdom’s nanny state.
“There is zero evidence provided that the two males committed any sort of illegal act,” the platform’s addendum notes. “It appears that police officers simply seized all of this food without question because they thought it suspicious. This may change if a criminal charge record is provided.”
It’s unclear why officers went after a couple of upstart chocolatiers instead of attempting to tackle actual crime.
This hesitancy may have to do with the fact that despite a massive legal framework for gun control, the country is plagued by sinister knife crimes and other violent violations. Busting citizens for chocolate is obviously a safer play for the constables — nobody’s ever been stabbed by a Mars bar, after all.
Users were quick to mock the constables for their questionable police work.
And what exactly is the maximum amount of sweets I can walk around with? Two? Three? I am just a law abiding citizen who doesn’t want any trouble.
— Mac Arthur (@DoctorMacArthur) August 2, 2023
stopping actual crime would be nice
— Ben (@bnwkr) August 2, 2023
Are these candy bars full of crack or something
— OCD (@OCDinsomnia) August 2, 2023
The Lewisham police have been slow to update the public on this case, making no postings since their original bust.
To be perfectly clear, the men stopped by police could have stolen the sweets, although authorities have provided zero evidence pointing to these candies being pilfered instead of purchased.
One thing is clear, however — if officers truly want to rid England’s mean streets of chocolate, they’d have better luck skipping low-level dealers and going after the confectionary kingpin himself: Willy Wonka.
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