There is nothing quite as devastating as losing an unborn baby. The hopes and dreams of a whole life rest on someone who has yet to even enter the world, and when they don’t get a chance to have those experiences, it’s absolutely crushing.
What’s more, the passing of an unborn child is among the most private of deaths. There’s no wake, no funeral, no ceremony to mark what has happened.
Some women never even share their experience with others, grieving quietly instead. But “Today” meteorologist Dylan Dreyer hopes that telling her story will help erase the stigma surrounding the issue.
Thirty-seven-year-old Dreyer came to motherhood later in life. In fact, before she had her first child, Calvin, she didn’t show much interest in having a child.
“I was actually pretty open with it when I was pregnant with Calvin,” she told USA Today. “My life’s going to change.
“I never changed a diaper before. I really didn’t know how to be a mom.”
Yet after giving birth, she felt a deep affinity for that new little life and eventually decided she wanted another child. The New York Post reported that she and her husband, Brian Fichera, attempted to conceive for six months, growing increasingly concerned when they couldn’t.
Only after visiting a physician did they learn the terrible news: Her previous C-section had left significant scarring on her uterus.
Additionally, she had an extremely low egg count. However, after surgery, she became pregnant and looked forward to meeting the new little life inside her.
Tragically, it wasn’t to be. Five weeks later, she began hemorrhaging and eventually lost her baby.
“I’m devastated, and I have to go to work on the Today show and be happy and smiling and pretend like nothing’s wrong,” she recalled. “I just want people to know that, yeah, I’m kind of going through it with you.”
Doctors call what Dreyer experienced “secondary infertility.” It occurs when a couple brings an infant to term but struggles with achieving another viable pregnancy.
The Mayo Clinic lists a whole host of reasons why this might happen with a couple, including various uterine conditions or age factors.
Dreyer and Fichera have said that they plan to pursue In Vitro Fertilization. They’re also going to chronicle the process for others.
Despite her personal pain, Dreyer has refused to fall prey to bitterness. “I don’t know where this ends,” she said.
“My sadness doesn’t take away from anyone else’s happiness, and my sadness isn’t minimized because someone else has a happier situation. … A part of me feels mad at my body … but God has a plan.”
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