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Toilet Goes Airborne and Explodes in Florida Home After Lightning Strike

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Let me just start off by warning you that this is a poop story.

The facts of this tale began to swirl around Aug. 4 in stormy Port Charlotte, Florida.

On the day in question, a local plumbing company, A-1 Affordable Plumbing, received a very strange call.

Lightning had struck a septic tank.

When A-1 plumbers arrived at the home, they were perplexed by what they heard and saw.

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The toilet had been discharged from the floor bolts and was in crappy condition.

The homeowners wasted no time explaining the source of the porcelain’s demise.

A bolt of angry lightning targeted their innocent waste receptacle, igniting an explosive launching of the toilet.

“Lightening struck this home owners septic tank, igniting the methane gas (natural gas from sewer) in the sewer pipes and causing an explosion,” A-1 recounted on its Facebook page.

The ignited gas thundered through the plumbing pipes like the climactic finale of a John Woo film. When it finally entered the bathroom, the toilet never stood a chance.

The methane-fueled explosion destroyed the unsuspecting potty and propelled the dangerous little potty pieces skyward.

“The toilet exploded in home owners master bathroom sending porcelain airborne like a missile (the porcelain penetrated into wall),” A-1 reported.

The electricity-induced, lavatory decimation was complete. And it was devastating.

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“Most likely all sewer piping will need to be replaced and septic tank,” A-1 said.

To support this claim, A-1 provided detailed and closeup photographic evidence of the damaged pipes.

Despite the commode calamity, not a single hair on the homeowner’s head was damaged. “Luckily no one was hurt!” said A-1.

This recounting of the wreckage of this water closet is not without a moral.

“No more pooping while it’s storming outside,” A-1 wisely advised its readers.

Whether it’s the outhouse or the penthouse, the washroom or the powder room, methane mishaps may make any of us meet our waterloo.

Be safe. Be wise. And for love of Zeus, think twice before you squat during a squall.

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G.S. Hair is the former executive editor of The Western Journal.
G.S. Hair is the former executive editor of The Western Journal and vice president of digital content of Liftable Media.

After graduating law school from the Cecil C. Humphries School of Law, Mr. Hair spent a decade as an attorney practicing at the trial and appellate level in Arkansas and Tennessee. He represented clients in civil litigation, contractual disputes, criminal defense and domestic matters. He spent a significant amount of time representing indigent clients who could not afford private counsel in civil or criminal matters. A desire for justice and fairness was a driving force in Mr. Hair's philosophy of representation. Inspired by Christ’s role as an advocate on our behalf before God, he often represented clients who had no one else to fight on their behalf.

Mr. Hair has been a consultant for Republican political candidates and has crafted grassroots campaign strategies to help mobilize voters in staunchly Democrat regions of the Eastern United States.

In early 2015, he began writing for Conservative Tribune. After the site was acquired by Liftable Media, he shut down his law practice, moved to Arizona and transitioned into the position of site director. He then transitioned to vice president of content. In 2018, after Liftable Media folded all its brands into The Western Journal, he was named executive editor. His mission is to advance conservative principles and be a positive and truthful voice in the media.

He is married and has four children. He resides in Phoenix, Arizona.
Birthplace
South Carolina
Education
Homeschooled (and proud of it); B.A. Mississippi College; J.D. University Of Memphis
Location
Phoenix, Arizona
Languages Spoken
English
Topics of Expertise
Culture, Faith, Politics




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