So, as you might know, Elon Musk has had an odd 2018. Between smoking weed on a podcast and facing investigations from multiple federal agencies, it’s seeming more likely you’ll see a full-on public meltdown from the Tesla founder than you ever will the Hyperloop.
If you think Elon has gone off the rails, just wait until you see his brother.
Kimbal Musk appeared on Fox News’ “Varney & Co.” on Thursday. He doesn’t just share consanguinity with the Tesla founder, he also sits on the company’s board. And he wears a cowboy hat, at least for this interview.
That was the least strange thing about roughly four minutes of television which had host Stuart Varney apologizing for his behavior toward Kimbal and/or the entire interview.
I, on the other hand, think Varney should apologize for cutting it short — but that’s just because the whole thing was more awkward than a Wes Anderson movie.
The thing was that Kimbal thought — I guess — that he was being invited on a business show to talk about Plant a Seed Day and not the fact that his company has a new chairman of the board. That’s the least of his company’s problems, but he couldn’t even deal with the appointment of chairman Robyn Denholm.
“You are on the board at Tesla,” Varney said, according to TheBlaze. “And you’ve got a new chair. Have you heard anything from her? Is she laying down the law?”
“I am so happy for the future of Tesla. On March 20, 2019, we’re going to do a Plant a Seed Day,” Kimbal said.
If you’re watching this clip at home for the first time, I recommend you pause it after that quote to get some popcorn ready. Trust me, it’ll all be worth it.
“Come on! You are on the board of Tesla — which is very much in the news,” a visibly annoyed Varney said. “You’ve got a new chair to replace your brother, Elon Musk. You’ve got to tell me: Is she laying down the law? Have you had contact with her? What’s she saying? What’s she doing on the board?”
“I am very happy about the future of Tesla,” Kimbal said. “Let me tell you about a story –”
“I want to know what’s going on at Tesla with the new board chair, and you are on the board,” Varney repeated. “Can you answer the question? What is she doing? What do you know that she’s doing so far? I don’t need to know you’re happy about future of Tesla, I want to know what your new chair is doing at Tesla on the board.”
“What I’d like to share, I’m so happy about the future of Tesla,” Musk continued. “Plant a Seed Day in 2019 will be a way for companies across America to participate –”
“You think my viewers want to learn about Plant a Seed Day?” a visibly piqued Varney yelled. “Do you really? They don’t care, Kimbal!”
“It’s going to be awesome! Are you kidding me?” Musk said.
“OK. I’m wrapping it up,” Varney eventually said. “I’m sorry. It’s over. I will not be used.”
He would later apologize to viewers for the interview: “Sorry about that,” Varney said.
About what — cutting him off? He’s so excited about Plant a Seed Day! It’s going to be awesome, guys! I could have taken two hours of that. Varney probably couldn’t, but hey — his job is to entertain me, dagnabbit.
I do know what Plant a Seed Day is, thanks to my research for this story. And you know what? I have no intention of telling you. That this strange man sits on a corporate board is the biggest breach of fiduciary trust since Theranos. I’m not going to sit here and plug his insipid “holiday” just because he managed to make a funny clip. I might find a seedling and rip it out of the ground just to spite this viral loser.
On the other hand, it’ll probably be the funniest thing you’ll see today, so at least there’s that.
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