Fitting and Hilarious: Crazy Socialist Francesca Hong Loses Wisconsin Dem Gov to Guy Who Re-Entered Race Weeks Ago Because His Wife Saw a Bird
Before I wrote this piece, I did a quick search: Since the beginning of 2024, 29 articles have appeared in The Western Journal with the word “schadenfreude” in them. All of them, from what I can tell from a quick glance, have been written by me.
This is the 30th, and I’m beyond glad that such a milestone number has been reached in these circumstances. Not just because I love using the word schadenfreude (perhaps a bit too much, if those numbers are any indication), but I don’t know if there’s any emotion I love more than schadenfreude — “enjoyment obtained from seeing or hearing about the troubles of others,” to save Democrats the trip to Merriam-Webster.
Is it a bit mean? Sure. Is it healthy? Maybe not, but I hear laughter burns calories. Is it a beautiful, glorious thing when it happens in electoral politics? Yes, in bolded italics!
In that vein, I give you the perfect 30th entry in The Western Journal schadenfreude collection: After polls showed her cruising to victory in the Wisconsin Democratic gubernatorial primary, crazy socialist and racist Thanksgiving-canceler Francesca Hong has apparently been defeated by a guy who dropped out of the race two months ago because he conceded he had no path to victory and was polling in the low single digits but says he got back into the contest because his wife saw a cardinal.
Not like the Catholic prelate type of cardinal, but the bird. Just to make that clear.
At a little past 1:20 a.m. Central Time, Decision Desk HQ called the gubernatorial contest for Milwaukee County Executive David Crowley, who had initially suspended his race in June. As of 2 a.m. Central, Crowley had a 39.80 percent to 39.38 lead over Hong, but almost all of the vote had been counted and the remaining ballots do not favor Hong.
DDHQ Race Update (est. 99% in): Wisconsin Governor Democratic Primary
David Crowley (D): 313,348 (39.8%)
Francesca Hong (D): 310,037 (39.4%)
Kelda Roys (D): 58,964 (7.5%)Follow more results here:https://t.co/FvSUeSn4oo pic.twitter.com/QKPkyaVI3A
— Decision Desk HQ (@DecisionDeskHQ) August 12, 2026
Other outlets initially declined to call the race, although most conceded that Crowley almost certainly had the inside track. Hong supporters initially held out hope after a glitch in absentee ballot counting from Milwaukee County, but when that was sorted Crowley’s lead increased. The Associated Press called the race for Crowley, as well.
What’s most striking, however, is that this race was supposed to be a blowout, as illustrated by the polls:
Hong might come back, but wtf is up with these primary polls? pic.twitter.com/sPdEhG2Iyl
— Nate Silver (@NateSilver538) August 12, 2026
Almost all, you’ll notice, had Hong up by double digits. RealClearPolitics didn’t have an aggregate because of the volatile nature of the race or the twists and turns, but in no poll taken since July did Hong have anything less than an 11-point lead over her nearest challenger.
This was in spite of the fact that the Democratic Socialists of America member wanted to “cancel Thanksgiving” (and only reversed under pressure), hated holidays because of capitalism, hired an OnlyFans model as a deputy campaign manager, and once bragged about eating her kid’s food so she could get out of a restaurant quickly because white people were giving her an anxiety attack.
It seems that Francesca Hong hates just about every single holiday. pic.twitter.com/VVHnu9atAw
— Greg Price (@greg_price11) August 3, 2026
It seems that Francesca Hong hates just about every single holiday. pic.twitter.com/VVHnu9atAw
— Greg Price (@greg_price11) August 3, 2026
I ate two bites of my kid’s cheeseburger at a Culver’s in black river falls and told him they ran out of ice cream. Mostly just wanted to leave bc I was on the verge of a anxiety attack…to many old white people who didn’t think we spoke english
— Francesca Hong For Governor (@FrancescaHongWI) July 2, 2019
This lead was in part due to the fact that there was no fixed establishment candidate. Neither Crowley nor former Lt. Gov. Mandela Barnes caught on with the Democratic electorate. Current Lt. Gov. Sara Rodriguez had seemingly consolidated the establishment vote, until it turned out that — thanks to alleged accounting shenanigans by her campaign manager — she had no money to campaign with and was forced to drop out.
Crowley re-entered the race on July 18, according to Wisconsin Public Radio. And while we can all guess why he actually re-entered, his explanation makes his unlikely victory all the more perfect:
“Me and my wife prayed,” Crowley said. “My wife, during the prayer, she said, ‘God, I don’t like subtlety, so make it very obvious.’
“And she actually asked to see, like, a red bird. And it was very specific.”
But his wife was still saying they weren’t doing it — until she saw a cardinal.
David Crowley says he decided to resurrect his campaign after his wife prayed and asked for a sign in the form of a red bird if he should resume the campaign. She later saw a red bird, Crowley says. pic.twitter.com/QB6hyRSU32
— Ken Klippenstein (@kenklippenstein) August 8, 2026
Now, look, this isn’t to discount the power of prayer. But this like me saying, “Lord, if you want me to get into this race, let it take me at least two hours to get through Kennedy Airport security for my flight.”
And God answered! Or normal stuff happened. One of the two. Definitely the second, actually.
Cardinals, you see, are not only the kind of “red bird” Crowley’s wife wanted to see, they’re also remarkably common in Wisconsin. In fact, they’re one of the most common birds in the state, according to the avian enthusiast website BirdWatchingHQ.
“Without a doubt, the Northern Cardinal is one of the most popular birds in Wisconsin,” the site reports. “They are not only beautifully colored, but they are common to see at bird feeders!”
In other words, this wasn’t exactly an emperor penguin we’re talking about.
In fact, when it comes to divine providence, I would be more inclined to believe this were divine intervention had he invoked the supplication history of a very notorious atheist, the French author Voltaire: “I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: Oh Lord, make my enemies ridiculous. And God granted it.”
He certainly did in this case. Crowley got his nomination, I got my schadenfreude, and Francesca Hong got … some of her kid’s cheeseburger? All because of one freaking cardinal.
After this, I shall endeavor to retire the word “schadenfreude” from my vocabulary, at least in these pages. Not because it’s repetitive or because I don’t like it. I just don’t see how this can be topped in the schadenfreude department.
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