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Apple Launches New Gadget with 'Painfully Bad' Ad That's Making People 'Actively Not Want to Buy the Product'

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Why wouldn’t you turn control of your home over to a digital giant that buys into every pernicious stereotype about modern home life peddled by the worst elements of the American left?

That’s the question that Apple’s asking the American family. Just in case you didn’t have enough of their gadgets in your life in one way or another, Cupertino wants you to buy HomeView, which it advertises on its website as being “the new heart of your home.”

This is $299 for a screen attached to a pod that does some stuff. It’s a big ask, especially for a new product with an amorphous product “designed to bring more joy and convenience to everyone in your household.”

This description sounds a lot like it’s a TV, but much smaller; a speaker system, but not as good; a space-age smart home gadget, yet another one we don’t need; and a communication device, just in case you didn’t have enough of those between your phone, computer, watch, and tablet. Buy more, die poor, leave the decidedly mid experience of digital AI-powered living to Apple!

But I digress. It’s a capitalistic society, and if this is what you want for your life, far be it from me to disabuse you of unloading $300 of your cash when this thing drops in November. The point is that Apple doesn’t seem to be doing a terribly good job of getting people to want it, having produced one of the most thoroughly patronizing and aggressively unpleasant reveal ads in recent years.

I’m not sure whether you want to watch it to check off the woke stereotypes in the ad or the amount of useless use cases this waste of silicon and metal is supposed to step into. (Forget how to make French toast? Don’t worry — if you’re too lobotomized by Big Tech to remember “milk, eggs, toast, cinnamon, sugar,” a $300 pod will now remember it for you. Aldous Huxley was much too kind to humanity when he thought we’d need the kind of extraordinary technology in “Brave New World” to turn us into sybaritic zombies.)



Emasculated, know-nothing male, who apparently is the homemaker? Check.

Modern woman who earns the bread for the family and doesn’t allow her husband to touch the thermostat? Check. (To be fair, if this guy can’t remember what French toast is made out of, perhaps it’s better she’s the earner.)

Dumb son? Check.

Smart daughters, tsk-tsking all the clueless, mansplaining, Y-chromosome-havers in the household? Check.

Does this ad make you want to buy Apple's new product.

Family life being a total drag? Check.

So basically, if you’re a dimwit housedad with a girl-boss husband, two smart daughters and one dumb son, all in an unpleasant home environment, fork over your cash to Apple and you’ll always have something to remind you to pour milk over cereal after you get it in the bowl. Progress!

And I wasn’t the only one who noticed that Apple had forgotten to actually sell people the product:

As for that last question — “Who made this?” — my guess is, very desperate people. This whole thing is a needless doodad, and they need people talking about it.

Related:
Apple, Google Caught 'Helping Users' Find Apps That Can Deepfake Nude Pictures of Real People, and Worse Kids Are Vulnerable Too

The problem is that people are talking about it in all the wrong ways. Unlike Apple’s other smart devices, this one is upfront with what it wants to take over: The home. Would you trust a company that thinks about your family this way to run the homestead?

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C. Douglas Golden is a writer who splits his time between the United States and Southeast Asia. Specializing in political commentary and world affairs, he's written for Conservative Tribune and The Western Journal since 2014.
C. Douglas Golden is a writer who splits his time between the United States and Southeast Asia. Specializing in political commentary and world affairs, he's written for Conservative Tribune and The Western Journal since 2014. Aside from politics, he enjoys spending time with his wife, literature (especially British comic novels and modern Japanese lit), indie rock, coffee, Formula One and football (of both American and world varieties).
Birthplace
Morristown, New Jersey
Education
Catholic University of America
Languages Spoken
English, Spanish
Topics of Expertise
American Politics, World Politics, Culture




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