The midterms are upon us at long last, and they couldn’t have come soon enough. For most of us political junkies, this is kind of like Christmas — we get to unwrap our presents and find out whether we got what we wanted.
This time, however, it’s a little bit like “Christmas Vacation.” After a very long season of obloquy, incivility and manufactured outrage, I feel a little bit like Clark Griswold, waiting for the season to be over and treating myself to copious ministrations of eggnog to get myself through the whole mess.
Alas, like Cousin Eddie kidnapping Clark’s boss on Christmas Eve, there’s still some time for one last wacky bit of horribleness to make you lose your faith in humanity. In this case, it’s Democrats wanting Barron Trump thrown out of the country.
See, one of President Donald Trump’s recent proposals involves signing an executive order that would end birthright citizenship — the process under which anyone born on American soil automatically becomes a citizen — under the 14th Amendment.
Now, there are intelligent arguments from both conservatives and liberals about whether or not the 14th Amendment grants birthright citizenship and whether or not the practice can be ended by an executive order. After all, the 14th Amendment is one of the most hotly debated pieces of constitutional case law; one could even plausibly say that the vast majority of the Supreme Court’s controversial rulings over the past century have dealt with the 14th Amendment and how it’s been interpreted.
One of the least intelligent arguments in this matter, however, is claiming that Donald Trump’s youngest son could (and should) be thrown out of the country if the president signs the order and it’s found to be constitutional:
Donald Trump wants to deport anchor babies.
Donald Trump IS an anchor baby AND he has 4 anchor babies.
— Treason Stickers (@treasonstickers) November 1, 2018
— Max Howroute (@howroute) November 2, 2018
As to 14th, I retweeted something super funny that tells the shallowness of POTUS’s wrinkles on his brain. I thought I’d share. Deport Barron Trump 😂 pic.twitter.com/zIoQb31VmR
— 山内浩/Hiroshi Yamauchi (@1_6_4_3) November 3, 2018
First, this horrible slice of political gamesmanship doesn’t even make sense. If one of the child’s parents is an American national who’s been physically present in the country for five years, that child is automatically a citizen.
I know this because my wife is a foreign national and I looked this up before we got married. (And yes, I now know that, having revealed that fact about my personal life, the mail-order bride jokes are going to come pouring in. All I have to say to that is that I must have paid a hefty premium to get a mail-order bride with a Ph.D. in chemical engineering.)
However, if your wife isn’t a foreign national and you don’t know these things offhand, all you have to do is literally spend five minutes of reading to find out you’re full of garbage. It took me roughly that long when I was researching this before we got married to realize what the law said.
I understand that the stakes in this matter are somewhat higher for me, but if you’re going to tweet something and talk about the “shallowness of the wrinkles” on the president’s brain, maybe you ought to do, oh, say, two minutes of Google work first. There’s a certain quote I remember, usually attributed to Abe Lincoln or Mark Twain, about opening your mouth and removing all doubt about something. Damned if I can recall the specifics, though.
Even if the particulars of the law weren’t quite clear, however, this would still be a shockingly heartless thing to say. The vagaries of immigration reform do not need to be debated by saying ghastly things about the children of the president, his family members or anyone else in the administration.
It’s perfectly possible to have a civil discussion about immigration and the externalities some of our laws may create without resorting to “SEND BARRON TRUMP BACK TO SLOVENIA!!!1111one”
But this is who the liberals are now. These are individuals who crow loudly about how the president and his party are sick, vindictive and cruel and then call for the president’s son to be deported because of an immigration law that doesn’t exist. If you call this incivility, they’ll say the only way incivility will stop is if you cede power back to them.
Merry Christmas, political junkies. If these reprobates and those they support are allowed access to the levers of government power once again, it will be a lump of coal we’ll all have to deal with for a very long time.
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