Gun Store Sells Out After Running 'Beto Special' Sale on AR-15s


Robert Francis “Beto” O’Rourke made a very off-the-cuff, fiery statement during the Democratic debate on Thursday:

“Hell yes, we are going to take your AR-15, your AK-47,” he said.

That was pretty unequivocal — and totally done at the spur of the moment. It’s not like it was something that was endlessly rehearsed or anything. And his campaign clearly wasn’t in on it.

Oh, wait, what was that? I’m hearing something in my rhetorical earpiece — ah yes, we’re going to go to Twitter, where we’ve seen reports of a new product in the Beto 2020 online store:

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So I’m going to guess this line was every bit as rehearsed as it sounded. (These were out the day after the debate, after all.) Oh well, it’s good to see at least someone in the Democratic field embracing shameless capitalism.

And thankfully, O’Rourke’s threat to take away your guns has promoted some capitalistic activity of the less shameless variety, courtesy of Alpha Dog Firearms of Tempe, Arizona.

If Beto’s going to take your guns, well, he might as well have something to take while he’s trampling on the Second Amendment and endorsing a plan that would basically require police to make door-to-door confiscations. That’s why Alpha Dog is running a “Beto special” on AR-15s and AK-47s.

Do you think Beto expected his words to rebound like this?

If you want to take advantage, however, you’re too late — since the store has already sold out of those awful “weapons of war” that probably won’t be on any battlefield you know anytime soon.

“Beto O’Rourke said ‘hell yes we’re taking your AR’s,'” Alpha Dog said in a Facebook post Friday.

“Well Beto, we’re discounting AR15’s to such a low price that EVERY AMERICAN can afford one. How about the low low price of just $349.99? Yeah, that works. Available online only. Go to and look for all our AR15 and AK47 deals under the BETO SPECIALS tab. Deals and discounts will be added fresh all day!”

After 17,000 shares, and almost 5,000 likes, however, Alpha Dog Firearms was forced to post this message: “UPDATE: SOLD OUT. More deals will be on the website soon. Y’all broke our internet today!!!”

Apparently so. I wonder what Beto’s campaign will have to say about this.

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Maybe they can respond by having a sale on the $30 T-shirt they used to cash in on Beto’s vulgar catchline, which repeated “THIS IS F—ED UP” (the T-shirt only omitted the U from the offending word) six times before “End gun violence now” appeared below it.

Yes, it seems Beto has a T-shirt for every occasion except for the one where he cracks 5 percent in a poll. (Those were sold out in February and haven’t been restocked recently, for reasons unbeknownst to me.)

But then, what do you expect? One person on the Alpha Dog page had a comment that pretty well summed it up: “Beto is working on Obamas [sic] record, Gun Salesman of the year.”

And that’s the hitch. Tell people they can’t have something they can responsibly use. What are they going to do? Buy it. It’s the American way, baby. Molon labe!

Sure, the scenarios in which Beto will win the nomination are about as numerous as the “I Dream of Jeannie” episodes where Barbara Eden’s character doesn’t manage to get Maj. Nelson out of whatever predicament he’s gotten himself into.

However, while Beto may not win the nomination, there were plenty of people on the stage Thursday that want to ban and confiscate your AR-15s.

They may not have the T-shirts, but let me assure you, they’re just as ready.

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C. Douglas Golden is a writer who splits his time between the United States and Southeast Asia. Specializing in political commentary and world affairs, he's written for Conservative Tribune and The Western Journal since 2014.
C. Douglas Golden is a writer who splits his time between the United States and Southeast Asia. Specializing in political commentary and world affairs, he's written for Conservative Tribune and The Western Journal since 2014. Aside from politics, he enjoys spending time with his wife, literature (especially British comic novels and modern Japanese lit), indie rock, coffee, Formula One and football (of both American and world varieties).
Morristown, New Jersey
Catholic University of America
Languages Spoken
English, Spanish
Topics of Expertise
American Politics, World Politics, Culture