The Chateau Marmont is part of the seedier section of Hollywood mythology, a celebrity-speckled hotel ruled cooperatively by the spirits of Dionysus, Aphrodite and Thanatos.
It’s best remembered for the most notable tragedy of excess to happen on its grounds: On March 5, 1982, after a night of partying, actor John Belushi breathed his last in one of the Marmont’s bungalows, the victim of a heroin and cocaine overdose. Most of the luxury hotel’s famous cases of excess survived to tell the tale, however.
According to Town and Country, “Some Like it Hot” director Billy Wilder once slept in the lobby bathroom, “Rebel Without a Cause” director Nicholas Ray slept with a 16-year-old Natalie Wood there and Desi Arnaz oft slept there when Lucille Ball was nonplussed with him.
To this long list of dissolution, we can now potentially add a future American president who may have inadvertently paid up to $25,000 to a Russian prostitute hired by his son.
We’re talking about President Joe Biden and his son, Hunter Biden, of course, and the story comes from the first book-length examination of a certain computer. On Tuesday, the New York Post published an excerpt from Miranda Devine’s upcoming book, “Laptop from Hell: Hunter Biden, Big Tech, and the Dirty Secrets the President Tried to Hide.”
In the excerpt, Devine said messages, receipts and records on Hunter Biden’s laptop — which he allegedly abandoned at a Delaware repair shop in 2019 — provided thorough documentation of Biden’s very lost, very long weekend in 2018.
This particular snapshot from Hunter’s debauchery comes from May of that year when he was shacked up in the Chateau Marmont. Biden’s digital footprint reportedly shows he was browsing through his favorite escort sites when he settled upon a 24-year-old prostitute from a service called Emerald Fantasy Girls.
Yanna was described as “Russian, Green Eyes, Thin Brunette, an elite courtesan.” She also listed the sex acts she could perform on her menu, according to the Post.
Biden reportedly sent a text message to Yanna: “Hi, My name is Rob. I’m staying at Chateau Marmont. Are you available now?” And so begins a debauch that lasts a few days. Devine alleged it’s all recorded on Hunter Biden’s laptop: The two smoked crack, drank vodka and did the sorts of things one pays escorts thousands of dollars for. (In one particularly cringeworthy scene described by Devine, Yanna supposedly ate M&Ms off of Hunter’s procreative organ.)
“All of these messages, all of these pictures, are saved on Hunter Biden’s laptop, which he treats like a diary, storing every email and text conversation, his financial records, and his copious selfies,” Devine wrote.
The outlet reported that eventually, after a few days, Yanna asked for payment, as prostitutes are wont to do. Thanks to those reported financial records, we know a bit about what happened next.
“The problem is Hunter’s debit cards aren’t working and she’s not leaving without the $8,000 he owes her for the extended callout,” Devine wrote. “On the morning of May 24, hung over and out of sorts, Hunter adds a new recipient on the cash transfer app Zelle, a woman named Gulnora, the registered agent for Emerald Fantasy Girls and Yanna’s employer.
“He transfers $8,000. It doesn’t work. A few minutes later, Wells Fargo sends him a fraud detection alert. He reaches into his wallet and pulls out a card. Yanna attempts to transfer the $8,000 but it apparently doesn’t go through. He rifles through his wallet again. No luck. He pulls out another card. Bingo.”
Hunter was in bad shape at this point and Yanna left, the outlet reported. However, while he was sleeping off the effects of the physical exertions and chemical reactions his body was subjected to, the failed transactions began to go through, according to receipts on the computer.
In less than an hour, $25,000 was reportedly transferred to Yanna.
“There is many transactions on my account,” Yanna texted Hunter, according to the Post. “From last night 8k, 8k, 3500k. So get back with me when you can. So I can transfer back to you. Better if you call my personal.”
“I’m happy to see that much in my account,” she reportedly said in a follow-up. Then: “No worries you can have the rest back. Karma is a b****.”
“Send it back please,” Hunter texted back shortly after 4 p.m., the Post noted.
However, Gulnora reportedly texted him saying she couldn’t transfer the last $5,000 to his account because of banking problems on her end. “Bulls***,” Hunter texted back, according to the Post. “I am so sick of this.”
Someone else was apparently getting sick of it, too. At this point, Robert Savage III — a recently retired Secret Service agent in charge of the Los Angeles office — reportedly began texting Hunter shortly after 6:30 p.m.
The following text exchange was reported by the New York Post and could not be independently verified by The Western Journal:
Savage: “H — I’m in the lobby come down. Thanks, Rob.”
Hunter: “5 minutes.”
Savage: “Come on H, this is linked to Celtic’s account. DC is calling me every 10. Let me up or come down. I can’t help if you don’t let me H.”
(This is key: “Celtic” was Joe Biden’s Secret Service code name when he was vice president, according to the Post. In other words, Hunter’s father may have paid for some or all of his son’s romp at the Chateau Marmont off of his own cards.)
Hunter: “I promise be right down. Sorry.”
(Shortly thereafter, Savage reportedly texted Hunter that another former Secret Service agent — Dale Pupillo, who used to guard Joe Biden — was there, too.)
Savage: “He’s going to front desk, call and tell them to give us a key now H. As your friend, we need to resolve this in the immediate. Call the front desk now H or I will have to assume you are in danger and we will have to make them give us the keys.”
Hunter: “Really, Rob I am coming down right now. I really promise. Was in the bathroom buddy. Coming right this second.”
Savage: “We’re at your door. Open it.”
There’s no record of what happened in the intervening hours except for the fact that Hunter kept logging in to an encrypted government portal, secure.login.gov, until shortly after 4 a.m. However, records from the laptop show that when he tried to check into the Chateau Marmont again on July 19, 2018, Hunter had a bit of an issue — there was a warning note on his account. The manager had to get special permission to let him stay, according to the Post.
“WTF man. Seriously WTF,” Hunter reportedly said in texts with a bellhop the next night. “Seriously … a note in the system that says under no circumstances am I allowed in the building without her pre-approval. WTF man.”
“That’s f***ed, let me text someone,” the bellhop texted back, according to the Post. The outlet noted that a few minutes later, the bellhop replied, “Apparently you were banned for ‘drug use’ is what I was just told, which is bulls***.”
“Drug use???? You have to be f***ing kidding me,” Hunter reportedly texted back. “I was banned for drug use at the Chateau Marmont. You have to be f***ing me … Well that’s a f***ing first in the Hotel’s history I guess. Should I take it as a badge of honor? I really mean it, that literally must be a first at the Chateau.”
Maybe that should have been a wake-up call.
I’m not the parent of a drug-addicted child, so I give Joe Biden some leeway when it comes to managing Hunter Biden. I just had my first child and looking at situations like Joe Biden’s are “therefore but by the grace of God go I” moments — at least one hopes.
However, that leeway is stretched if “Celtic’s” credit cards and debit accounts were jointly shared with Hunter Biden, a man known for satyriasis and polydrug addiction.
Satirist P.J. O’Rourke once quipped that “[g]iving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.” Well, supposedly giving money and $25,000 in credit to Hunter Biden is like giving whiskey and car keys to a 51-year-old man who’s still a teenage boy.
It’s also like giving him hookers.
And a place at the Chateau Marmont.
And a reported MacBook Hunter Biden probably wishes he’d never seen — or at least picked up from the repair shop.
Imagine if the former president enabled one of his children like this. And yet, this is what the media wallpapered over last autumn.
One hopes Hunter Biden has it together for good this time.
But I wouldn’t count on it.
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