Trump Niece's 'Tell All' Book Falls Hilariously Flat


President Donald Trump’s niece, 55-year-old Mary Trump, has written a hit-piece book that is supposed to be brimming with embarrassing and shocking revelations intended to end her uncle’s political career.

But the book, titled “Too Much and Never Enough: How My Family Created the World’s Most Dangerous Man,” falls hilariously flat on its face, according to what has been released thus far.

Are you ready for a bombshell?

The Trump family, like all families, has been struck by internal strife, death and even alleged addiction.

If that isn’t jarring enough, the book claims the president, who built a multi-billion-dollar empire and won a presidential election against all odds, has a domineering personality and allegedly cheated on a test more than five decades ago.

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According to Mary Trump, who gave a manuscript of her “tell-all” to The New York Times, the president paid someone to take the SAT exam for him in high school, which helped him to transfer into the Wharton School in 1966.

“The high score the proxy earned for him, Ms. Trump adds, helped the young Mr. Trump to later gain admittance as an undergraduate to the University of Pennsylvania’s prestigious Wharton business school,” The Times reported.

Wow! What an absolute shock. The president is surely finished.

But wait, there’s more.

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USA Today, which obtained early excerpts from the book, reports Mary claims our country’s 45th president is “a high-functioning sociopath,” and the Trump family patriarch, Trump’s late father Fred, ruled the family’s home with an “iron fist.”

Members of the family also engaged in off-color humor when speaking to one another, according to book excerpts for which there is no context, and the president’s niece alleges he once commented on her appearance when she was 29.

Mary also alleges that the competitive nature of the Trump family led her father, the president’s brother, to an early death.

“Mary Trump writes that Fred Trump pitted his children against one another to win his approval, if not his love, creating a ‘Lord of the Flies’-like atmosphere in which only the toughest and most heartless thrived. It drove eldest son and Mary Trump’s father, Freddy Trump, to alcoholism and an early death, she argues,” USA Today reported.

These supposed revelations are humiliating — for the president’s adversaries.

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This underwhelming book is supposed to be a presidency-ender. All the dirty laundry and dead bodies buried somewhere out of sight were going to be unearthed.

This is another swing and another miss.

Mary Trump almost certainly had the backing of the entire media, Democrats and even some Republicans — and this is what she came up with.

White House deputy press secretary Sarah Matthews spoke to Business Insider about the book and denied the cheating allegation against the president.

“Mary Trump and her book’s publisher may claim to be acting in the public interest, but this book is clearly in the author’s own financial self-interest. President Trump has been in office for over three years working on behalf of the American people – why speak out now?” Matthews said.

“Also, the absurd SAT allegation is completely false.”

The hit piece she wrote is filled with dull allegations and unremarkable claims that cannot be verified.

If that sounds familiar, it’s because it is. It’s part of a formula for attempted character assassination.

A person formerly close to the president is exiled and later comes forward with damning information that is meant to be the end of Trump.

John Bolton, Anthony Scaramucci, James Mattis, Rex Tillerson and others who formerly had the president’s ear turned on him and joined the media in its attempts to break him.

They all failed.

John Bolton tried to upend the presidency just last month with the release of his book.

Among other claims, Bolton alleged that the president watches a lot of TV.

What a stunning revelation.

Bolton’s book failed to land any punches, and it’s already in the midst of being forgotten.

None of the aforementioned turncoats have been able to bring down Trump, so you knew Mary Trump, an angry relative, would surely succeed where the others failed, right?


Her book, which is scheduled for release on July 14, paints a picture of a family that, like all others, might be made up of human beings with different personalities, and also alleges that the president cheated on a test back when Frank Sinatra was still charting on the radio.

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Johnathan Jones has worked as a reporter, an editor, and producer in radio, television and digital media.
Johnathan "Kipp" Jones has worked as an editor and producer in radio and television. He is a proud husband and father.