Veteran's Obituary Taking Internet by Storm. Leaves Behind '32 Jars of Miracle Whip' & More


Some people joke that they read the obituaries on a daily basis in order to find out if they’ve died. For some, it’s a sad notification of too many friends passing away as they all age.

But for some, obituaries can bring a smile to their face and introduce them to people they wish they’d been able to meet. These special obituaries usually tell a humourous story of a person’s life, filled with all sorts of adventures and insights.

Jean Lahn of Lowell, Indiana, had worked at the Geisen Funeral Home previously and had seen her share of obituaries. When her dad, Terry Ward, 71, passed away, she knew she had to do something special to honor his sense of humor and his interesting life, reported Fox 59.

She explained, “He lived to make other people laugh…it was the only way to honor him properly.” Lahn took on the project in secret, not telling anyone she “was going to make it funny.”

Once she had the obituary complete, she shared it with family members, whom she reported loved it. So, the obituary was published and now it has gone viral.

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The hilarious obituary began by mentioning that Ward “escaped this mortal realm on Tuesday, January 23rd, 2018, leaving behind 32 jars of Miracle Whip, 17 boxes of Hamburger Helper and multitudes of other random items that would prove helpful in the event of a zombie apocalypse.”

It also paid tribute to “his overly-patient and accepting wife Kathy, who was the love of his life (a fact she gladly accepted sympathy for during their 48 years of marriage).”

Their children were mentioned, as were those who passed away before him, including “a 1972 Rambler and a hip.”

Ward’s graduation from high school was also cited, with a note that “only three of his teachers took an early retirement after having had him as a student.”

The obituary told the story of how Ward met his wife, “by telling her he was a lineman — he didn’t specify early on that he was a lineman for the phone company, not the NFL. Still, Kathy and Terry wed in the fall of 1969, perfectly between the Summer of Love and the Winter of Regret.”

Ward was a United States Army veteran who saw active combat duty during the Vietnam war. He also was retired from AT&T “after 39 years of begrudging service, where he accumulated roughly 3,000 rolls of black electrical tape during the course of his career (which he used for everything from open wounds to ‘Don’t use this button’ covers).”

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The obituary went on to list of some of his many favorite things, his indulgences with his grandchildren and how he disliked “uppity foods like hummus,” although after his family started calling it bean dip, he did begin to enjoy it. He didn’t care much about material things, never buying cars new and not owning a cell phone.

Ward “had zero working knowledge of the Kardashians” and “died knowing that The Blues Brothers was the best movie ever, (young) Clint Eastwood was the baddest-ass man on the planet, and hot sauce can be added to absolutely any food.”

The family asked that any “memorial donations” be made “in Terry’s name [to] your favorite charity or your favorite watering hole, where you are instructed to tie a few on and tell a few stories of the great Terry Ward.”

While some people may wonder if such humorous obituaries are disrespectful, journalist Mary Pat Lichtman shared that as happens to many journalists, she started out by writing obituaries and during that time discovered that “Sometimes families want more than just dates and times.”

She added that, “They want it to reflect the kind of person their loved one was, something you can read for years and remember.” “Legacy obit” is the name she had for it.

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