Congratulations, Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse. You will now be known as the man who decided he had to ask a Supreme Court nominee about a teenage reference to the human act of flatus.
Whitehouse, a Rhode Island Democrat, was far from the only man, woman or secretly nonbinary member of the Senate Judiciary Committee to make an arrant fool of themselves Thursday as they questioned either Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh or his accuser, Christine Blasey Ford.
He might, however, go down as the most memorable, if just because he was the one who had to ask about a euphemism for farting.
Whitehouse decided to use his time at the hearing to go after Kavanaugh about references in his high school yearbook. This isn’t just minor stuff in the world of Kavanaugh theories; numerous individuals, most prominently Michael Avenatti, have treated the silly jottings of high schoolers as if they were a “Key to All Mythologies” for decoding a grisly gang-rape cult.
That led to this enlightened exchange: “Have you, I don’t know if it’s ‘buffed’ or ‘boofed,’ how do you pronounce that?” Whitehouse asked the Supreme Court nominee.
“That refers to flatulence,” Kavanaugh said. “We were 16.”
“OK,” Whitehouse said. “And so when your friend Mark Judge put the same thing in his yearbook page back to you, he had the same meaning? It was flatulence?”
“I don’t know what he did but that’s my recollection,” Kavanaugh responded. “We want to talk about flatulence at age 16 on a yearbook page, I’m game.”
Here’s the video of this sterling moment in the history of our democracy:
Democratic Senator Sheldon Whitehouse asks about Judge Brett Kavanaugh about farting remarks he made from over 35 years ago. pic.twitter.com/sIC25Dtcxm
— Ryan Saavedra (@RealSaavedra) September 28, 2018
Twenty years from now, I hope we can laugh at this — if just because crying can be unseemly, even if it is for one’s country.
As I’ve said, this obsession owes no insignificant debt to Avenatti, whose outré new client claims Kavanaugh and his friends were involved in organized gang rape during high school and bragged about it in their yearbook.
“Brett Kavanaugh must also be asked about this entry in his yearbook: ‘FFFFFFFourth of July,’” Avenatti tweeted Sunday.
“We believe that this stands for: Find them, French them, Feel them, Finger them, F— them, Forget them.”
This sort of thing has apparently been taken as a legitimate strand of inquiry by Democrats, who seem to believe Kavanaugh was a sociopathic rapist — if not part of a teenage rape syndicate — who somehow managed to make a hard right turn and become a respected jurist who was serving on the nation’s highest court. But not before alluding to all of it in his high school yearbook and leaving behind a trail of evidence, of course.
Sheldon Whitehouse is in one of the bluest states in America. He has a lifelong sinecure and as long as he doesn’t quit or knock over a convenience store, he’ll be a senator until the day his body gives out. It’s a shame, really; in an ideal, just universe, being up for reelection this year, this clip would be running 24/7 on Rhode Island television. Voters would know just how deeply their senator cared about farting and why he was hoping it would take down a Supreme Court nominee. Alas, given the rot in the party of Jackson, not even that will make a difference this autumn.
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