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Woman Posts Hilarious Review of Eyeliner from Emergency Room Bed

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If you use eyeliner, you know how difficult it can be to find something that stays put and doesn’t crumble, fade, or smudge.

Makeup in general can be quite a gamble, with catchy packaging jazzing up otherwise mediocre products. That’s why recommendations are so important — with any product, really.

Want to make sure you get the best item on the market? You have to do your research. Ask around. Make sure those Amazon reviews weren’t in exchange for a product or mass-produced and cookie-cutter.

Shelby Pagan, 25, from Boston, has made waves with her glowing review for a particular brand of eyeliner. If you’re looking for a product that will stay put no matter what, her review will interest you.

Even if you’re not an eyeliner-wearer, this story is for you, because it’s downright hilarious and terrible at the same time.

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Pagan was in Hawaii last June when her car ran out of gas. She got out, contacted roadside assistance, and waited for someone to show up and help her out.

I wonder what my dog named me

A post shared by Shelby (@coffeecatsandcusswords) on

She did all the things she was supposed to. She pulled over to the side of the road and put on her hazard lights, but as she was calling to get help, a passing car smashed into her.

A registered nurse, she must have been aware of the shape she was in. At the ER she found out she had multiple injuries — but fortunately they did not claim her life.

She originally took a photo of herself lying in the ER as evidence for the police report, but later decided that it could be used for something else.

Despite the rough shape she was in, with scratches all over her face and running mascara, her eyeliner was on point. Like, really on point.

Even people who commented on the image pointed out that fact, and it wasn’t long before she headed over to review the product with a rather unorthodox spiel and the photo to prove it.

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“I was in a car accident and my eyeliner didn’t budge,” the review was titled. And that says it all, really — but just to really run the point home, Pagan explained.

“This product is truly amazing,” she wrote. “June 28th I was pulled over in my car calling for roadside assistance when a distracted driver hit me going 55 mph.”

“I was taken via ambulance to the ER where I remained for 8 hours. My mascara was running down my face from crying and all other products had been wiped off in the transfer to the hospital.”

“But not my tattoo eyeliner. I am posting a pick (sic) to show you, this product lasts and looks amazing through anything. Never buying any other liner again.”

The eyeliner is advertised as “bulletproof” and “tattoo” strength, and apparently it can add “accident-proof” to that list. With over 1600 people finding the review useful, Pagan has clearly made people’s day. If you’re looking for quality eyeliner, take Pagan’s word for it — this stuff is legit.

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Amanda holds an MA in Rhetoric and TESOL from Cal Poly Pomona. After teaching composition and logic for several years, she's strayed into writing full-time and especially enjoys animal-related topics.
As of January 2019, Amanda has written over 1,000 stories for The Western Journal but doesn't really know how. Graduating from California State Polytechnic University with a MA in Rhetoric/Composition and TESOL, she wrote her thesis about metacognitive development and the skill transfer between reading and writing in freshman students.
She has a slew of interests that keep her busy, including trying out new recipes, enjoying nature, discussing ridiculous topics, reading, drawing, people watching, developing curriculum, and writing bios. Sometimes she has red hair, sometimes she has brown hair, sometimes she's had teal hair.
With a book on productive communication strategies in the works, Amanda is also writing and illustrating some children's books with her husband, Edward.
Austin, Texas
Languages Spoken
English und ein bißchen Deutsch
Topics of Expertise
Faith, Animals, Cooking