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Absent-Minded Thief Makes Hilarious Mistake, Runs Off and Leaves ID Card at Crime Scene

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Despite the large number of crowd-pleasing heist films that Hollywood has created over the years, criminals aren’t always that smart. For instance, I had a distant family member who once worked in California’s famous Folsom Prison.

He actually watched a pair of convicts paint themselves into a corner while trying to give a concrete floor a new coat.

But do you know what’s even dumber? Leaving your official identification at a crime scene.

According to the Austin American-Statesman, that’s exactly what happened in 2018 with a car burglary gone bad. A would-be thief in Round Rock, Texas, attempted to swipe belongings out of an unlocked vehicle.

However, the owner caught the perp red-handed, and he fled — but not before leaving his backpack and phone behind. Williamson County Sheriff Robert Chody lampooned the criminal on Twitter, saying that authorities would catch him soon.

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“Reminds us of the [Smash Mouth] song ‘All Star,’” the sheriff wrote. “’Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me, I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed.’”

According to Newsflare, one robber ended up suffering from a surfeit of both stupidity and bad luck.

CCTV footage from May 27 shows a helmet-clad assailant entering a small cell phone store.

He moves up to the female attendant, showing her his cell and indicating he wants a screen protector. As the woman fetches him one and begins to apply it, he moves about, keeping his eyes open for passersby.

Only when the attendant gets distracted by a call does he make his move. The criminal quietly rolls up his bag, fashioning it into a makeshift weapon.

His gaze darts out to the street, sweeping back and forth. Only when he decides that he’s safe does he make his move.

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The cad batters the woman about the head twice, and as she stumbles backward, he swipes a phone. The man then escaped on a scooter, but little did he know, the bag had torn.

Indeed, its contents were scattered everywhere, including his identification. The shop soon filled with passersby and other store owners eager to help the crying attendant.

They found his identification, and the police took possession of it. An arrest wasn’t long in coming.

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A graduate of Wheaton College with a degree in literature, Loren also adores language. He has served as assistant editor for Plugged In magazine and copy editor for Wildlife Photographic magazine.
A graduate of Wheaton College with a degree in literature, Loren also adores language. He has served as assistant editor for Plugged In magazine and copy editor for Wildlife Photographic magazine. Most days find him crafting copy for corporate and small-business clients, but he also occasionally indulges in creative writing. His short fiction has appeared in a number of anthologies and magazines. Loren currently lives in south Florida with his wife and three children.
Education
Wheaton College
Location
Florida
Languages Spoken
English
Topics of Expertise
Entertainment, Faith, Travel




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