Despite the large number of crowd-pleasing heist films that Hollywood has created over the years, criminals aren’t always that smart. For instance, I had a distant family member who once worked in California’s famous Folsom Prison.
He actually watched a pair of convicts paint themselves into a corner while trying to give a concrete floor a new coat.
But do you know what’s even dumber? Leaving your official identification at a crime scene.
According to the Austin American-Statesman, that’s exactly what happened in 2018 with a car burglary gone bad. A would-be thief in Round Rock, Texas, attempted to swipe belongings out of an unlocked vehicle.
However, the owner caught the perp red-handed, and he fled — but not before leaving his backpack and phone behind. Williamson County Sheriff Robert Chody lampooned the criminal on Twitter, saying that authorities would catch him soon.
“Reminds us of the [Smash Mouth] song ‘All Star,’” the sheriff wrote. “’Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me, I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed.’”
Hey thief from last night.”! U left many personal items in the car you were burglarizing. Items that will easily help ID U. Reminds us of the song “All Star.” ?Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed.?. See u soon.Turn ur self in. pic.twitter.com/QZ9BwFGSik
— Williamson County Sheriff Chody (@SheriffChody) January 29, 2018
According to Newsflare, one robber ended up suffering from a surfeit of both stupidity and bad luck.
CCTV footage from May 27 shows a helmet-clad assailant entering a small cell phone store.
He moves up to the female attendant, showing her his cell and indicating he wants a screen protector. As the woman fetches him one and begins to apply it, he moves about, keeping his eyes open for passersby.
Only when the attendant gets distracted by a call does he make his move. The criminal quietly rolls up his bag, fashioning it into a makeshift weapon.
His gaze darts out to the street, sweeping back and forth. Only when he decides that he’s safe does he make his move.
The cad batters the woman about the head twice, and as she stumbles backward, he swipes a phone. The man then escaped on a scooter, but little did he know, the bag had torn.
Indeed, its contents were scattered everywhere, including his identification. The shop soon filled with passersby and other store owners eager to help the crying attendant.
They found his identification, and the police took possession of it. An arrest wasn’t long in coming.
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