The dog-faced pony soldier is back in the saddle, and it’s about time.
After all, it’s been a minute since Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden has really let abject gibberish tumble out of his mouth. There are errors here and there, but nothing like when he called a young woman a “lying dog-faced pony soldier” and his campaign then claimed it was a quote from a John Wayne movie that actually didn’t exist.
In fact, the problem with Biden is quite the opposite these days — he’s been very literally on script, as a spate of clearly teleprompter-aided interviews have demonstrated. No more inchoate answers like leaving the record player on at night to fight systemic racism, as he suggested during the debates. And no, none of the more damning gaffes like Biden’s “poor kids are just as bright and just as talented as white kids.” How boring.
Unfortunately for Joe and fortunately for us, there are still chances for him to display the Joe Biden we know and love. One of those opportunities was a veterans roundtable in Tampa, Florida, on Tuesday.
The event wasn’t a completely controlled environment, so there were plenty of moments when the former vice president’s train of thought was clearly on the wrong track, including when he referred to a “Harris-Biden administration,” something that might have been more of a Freudian slip than an error.
However, there were moments when that train of thought simply derailed. Here are 15 seconds of that speech that don’t sound particularly good:
Joe Biden: “Cause if you could take care, if you were a quartermaster, you can sure in hell take care runnin’ a, you know, a department store uh, thing, you know, where, in the second floor of the ladies department or whatever, you know what I mean?” pic.twitter.com/tAAK2XbhrE
— Ella Mizrahi (@EllaMizrahi12) September 15, 2020
Joe Biden: “Because if you could take care, if you were a quartermaster, you can sure in hell take care running a, you know, a department store, uh, thing, you know, where, in the second floor of the ladies department or whatever, you know what I mean?”
No, and no one else did, either:
He keeps sayin ‘ ya know what I mean ‘ no Joe no one has any idea at all what the hell your trying to say let alone what you think you mean
— Cj (@CaroleJ36860730) September 15, 2020
I once knew a boatswains mate who ran the haberdashery department at Woolworths it was on the third floor . I like pudding.
— contrarian67 (@contrarion67) September 15, 2020
If I ever questioned myself before about saying Biden has dementia I no longer do….my dad has dementia and this is exactly what it looks like. I’m no Biden fan but Jill Biden should be ashamed of herself putting him out there.
— Dawn (@casebas05) September 16, 2020
Please please please please please please let Joe try to debate! 💥💥💥
— Dad (@NorvR) September 16, 2020
Now, context is important here, and Biden’s supporters are going to lean on the fact that this isn’t as bad as it sounds. This was part of Biden talking up his jobs for vets initiative.
“But the ability to, again, know how to know, the ability to find jobs and connect people with jobs. That’s what we spent a lot of time doing in our administration, getting, providing significant number of government jobs in the federal government,” Biden said, according to a transcript from Rev.
“Because if you could take care, if you were a quartermaster, you can sure in hell take care of running a department store thing, and the second floor of the ladies’ department or whatever, you know what I mean? If you have been responsible for a couple of billion dollars worth of tanks, you can sure handle a distributing capacity for, I don’t know, FedEx. You can do it.”
Rev, it seems, was nice enough to take out the “uh”s and stammering.
By the by, a quartermaster is the officer in charge of providing clothing, food and quarter to troops.
Biden’s point was that if you can do that, you can do, I don’t know, that department store thing, second floor, ladies, whatever, where’s my staff?
One Twitterer noticed the problem with this line of thinking:
I was just discharged from the military one year ago. Unless something has significantly changed since then, quartermasters don’t run department stores.
— Garrett Ham (@garrettham_esq) September 15, 2020
Aside from the fact that Biden’s concept of the department store sounds like it comes from the “Mad Men” era (you can almost hear the elevator operator calling out, “Second floor, ladies! Third floor, menswear! Fourth floor, linens!”), the oddness is amplified by the fact that most military officers aren’t looking to transition into being the ladies wear manager at Macy’s.
No matter what the context, it still sounds like it was delivered by someone who’s up past his bedtime.
Everyone on the right enjoys playing the Joe Biden dementia guessing game: Does he have it? Is it just old age?
Labeling it isn’t necessary, however. Biden is far too easily confused, a man who often handles questions like your grandfather waking up after a long night in Vegas and trying to order poached eggs from room service.
A vote for Biden isn’t a vote for the man; it’s a vote for the Democrat agenda. The lying dog-faced pony soldier comes along with that deal, unfortunately — and he’s going to be the one horse-trading with Xi Jinping and Kim Jong Un.
I’d really prefer a quartermaster, if you ask me. Almost any quartermaster.
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