As website names go, PopSugar has always been an off-putting yet totally appropriate moniker. Neither pop culture nor sugar is something you want in moderation and preferably mixed with something else.
Any 12-year-old who’s been left home alone on a Saturday night with a bag full of Pixy Stix will testify to the intensity of resultant nausea and existential illness that results.
But the website’s name is definitely appropriate. Take this tonally representative stab at politics from PopSugar on May 14, “Get to Know All of Joe Biden’s Kids and Grandkids!”
“We grew to love Joe Biden when he served as vice president under former President Barack Obama and had one of the cutest bromances this country has ever seen,” PopSugar contributor Hedy Phillips wrote.
“Now that Joe is the presumptive Democratic nominee for president this year, we thought we’d take a look at the rest of the people closest to him — his children and grandchildren.”
Phillips didn’t bother mentioning that precious bromance was actually more complicated than she thought, particularly given — as Politico’s Alex Thompson re-emphasized in a piece Friday — Biden was rather surprised at being passed over by his bromantic partner as the 2016 presidential nominee.
The article would have been a helpful primer (albeit not a complete one) for the Democratic nominee to read before the most PopSugar moment of this entire ridiculous campaign so far: Biden’s interview with rapper Cardi B for Elle Magazine.
The female hip-hop artist wasn’t as bad of a choice as you might have thought under the circumstances. She is one of the biggest pop stars on the planet right now.
Her duet with Megan Thee Stallion, “WAP,” topped the Billboard Hot 100 Singles chart in its first week while breaking the record for most streams in one week (93 million), according to The Wall Street Journal.
She’s also shown some interest in politics, although not enough to make her ideas any more palatable or nuanced than the average celebrity.
In an election season where an appearance on “Desus & Mero” is enough to shoot the cool factor of a sclerotic old white man through the roof, an interview with Cardi B is like lashing yourself to the SpaceX Falcon 9 and riding off into the stratosphere — a welcome boost for anyone at any time, but particularly on the first day of the virtual Democratic National Convention, brought to you by Zoom.
One side acquitted itself without any hiccups, which is roughly what you’d expect. The unexpected part — it seems Biden forgot to read that adorable PopSugar article on his family before the appearance:
Joe Biden told Cardi B this morning he has five grand kids.
He has seven. pic.twitter.com/5Mp2jSnqJp
— Trump War Room – Text TRUMP to 88022 (@TrumpWarRoom) August 17, 2020
Well, that’s at least 71 percent of them. It’s a low C.
It’s also not normal. Perhaps this is why he’s not going to do that sit-down with Chris Wallace on Fox News anytime soon.
Now, there’s an explanation for why he might have done this. It’s not a great one and it involves — as so many of these things do — the multifarious personal problems of Hunter Biden.
PopSugar, for instance, only lists six grandchildren.
There were the two kids the late Beau Biden had with his widow, Natalie Biden and Robert Hunter Biden II. Hunter Biden has four children listed, Naomi Biden, Finnegan Biden and Maisy Biden with his first wife Kathleen Biden. Biden’s latest child, with his new wife Melissa Cohen, was born on March 29, during the pandemic.
It’s unclear whether the Democratic nominee has even seen the new child; his new name hadn’t even been reported in the press, according to a June report from the U.K. Daily Mail.
So maybe he forgot about that grandkid, right?
If only it were that easy.
Biden has a seventh grandchild through Hunter, although it took the court system a long time to establish this.
Biden fathered a fourth child — gender and name unknown — with Lunden Roberts, a woman he met while she was employed at a strip club in Washington, D.C., according to Business Insider.
A paternity test in November 2019 would prove Hunter Biden was indeed the father, and he’s since agreed to a paternity settlement with Roberts.
PopSugar didn’t mention this because apparently we didn’t want to know that grandkid.
So A) Joe Biden forgot Hunter Biden’s wife just gave birth a few months ago and also “forgot” about the nasty court case over the other child Hunter’s sired, B) he just can’t count them or C) some combination of the two.
Joe doesn’t have these other problems with any of his other family, though, he assures you:
WATCH: Joe Biden confuses who his wife is and who his sister is during Super Tuesday speech. pic.twitter.com/79HyNCPnHB
— Steve Guest (@SteveGuest) March 4, 2020
Oh well. Hopefully, he sees Hunter Biden’s new child soon. He can leave the record player on at night for him.
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