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Commentary

Masculinity Crisis: Poll Finds 24% of Men Think They Can't Beat a Rodent in a One-on-One Fight

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A recent poll conducted by YouGov which featured hypothetical matchups against wild animals found that roughly a quarter of American men don’t think they would be able to win a fight against a rodent.

YouGov on Thursday released its findings with regard to “what wild beasts do Americans think they themselves can take on,” and the results are pretty appalling. The poll started by asking respondents which animals they think would be the toughest to defeat.

“Our survey puts 34 different animals — including humans — against one another to see which Americans think is the mightiest,” YouGov noted. “We showed people seven random pairings of animals from the list and asked them which of the two they thought would win in a fight. Animals are ranked by their ‘win percentage’, that is, how often Americans thought that animal would win in a head-to-head matchup when it was one of the two animals shown.”

Americans picked the elephant as nature’s most imposing animal. Apparently possessing both brain and brawn, the tusked giant took the crown after courting the favor of respondents who were both men and women.

“The results show that the elephant wears the crown in the animal kingdom — but only slightly. Elephants had a win rate of 74%, just fractions of a percent ahead of their single-horned cousins — the rhinoceros — in second place, also on 74%,” YouGov added. “Not far behind in third place is the grizzly bear, at 73%.”

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The poll then asked its respondents which animals they felt they could defeat in a series of hypothetical fights.

Surprisingly, six percent of men surveyed expressed confidence that they would come out on top following a brawl with a grizzly bear.

Eight percent of men said they felt they would dispose of a lion, while nine percent expressed they would dispatch both an elephant and a gorilla. Confidence is key when one goes into a match against a much larger and tougher opponent, and these men have it.

But aside from these few brave and confident potential bear slayers, the poll showed a surprising number of American men are wimps — which is terrifying when you look around at some of the actual threats which could face the country from vicious foes abroad.

Do you think modern American men would have had the guts to have won World War II?

For example, roughly a quarter of American men don’t feel confident that they could defeat a rodent. When asked about fighting a rat, 74 percent of men said they couldn’t beat one.

Meanwhile, on 76 percent of men were confident that they could defeat a house cat.

We knew masculinity was on the decline, but this lack of confidence indicates that men might be suffering an epidemic of wussification. Men are supposed to be strong, or at least act like it. Being overconfident is more desirable than the alternative — which is to cower and be conquered.

Forty percent of American men said they felt they would lose a battle against a medium-sized dog — while a shocking 29 percent said they would probably lose a fight against a goose.

Geese are known for having attitude problems, especially on golf courses, parks and in fishing ponds, but really? Only 71 percent of the country’s men would feel prepared to battle one of these animals?

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How are men supposed to defend the country, its culture and women and children from external threats when so many, when asked, declared that a rat or goose would summarily own them on the battlefield?

Come on, America. Finally, a fun poll with some substance was released. Sadly, all it revealed is that American men have become alarmingly weak and pathetic.

The YouGov poll surveyed 1,224 American adults from April 12-13.

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Johnathan "Kipp" Jones has worked as a reporter, an editor and a producer in radio, television and digital media. He is a proud husband and father.
Johnathan "Kipp" Jones has worked as an editor and producer in radio and television. He is a proud husband and father.




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