Donald Trump. Deplorables. Russia. There are a lot of scapegoats liberals could pin a likely Ohio election loss on — but in the end, they may have to blame fellow leftists.
In a special election that took place this past Tuesday after the incumbent resigned, Ohio voters headed to the polls to determine who would end up in Congress: Republican Troy Balderson or Democrat Danny O’Connor.
Even Hollywood celebrities got in on the action, urging citizens to support the Democrat and hoping that the early election was the beginning of the “blue wave” liberals have predicted for months.
The “wave” turned into a soggy mess. Numbers are still being finalized, but it looks like so many Ohio voters cast their ballot for a far-left Green Party candidate that O’Connor did not have the support he needed.
That means that Republican Troy Balderson will likely be headed to Washington, triggering disbelief from liberals.
“Joe Manchik … says he’s descended from aliens and hails from the town of Hell, Michigan,” explained The Daily Mail.
“In Tuesday’s closely watched special election, 1,127 Ohioans chose him over Republican Troy Balderson and Democrat Danny O’Connor,” the newspaper continued.
That number isn’t nearly high enough to win — not even close — but it may have split the liberal vote enough that the Republican will prevail without a recount.
“The race is still too close to call, with 3,435 provisional ballots that have yet to be counted,” reported The New York Times on Wednesday. “Ohio law calls for an automatic recount if the two candidates are ultimately separated by less than half a percentage point.”
As of around 5:00 PM Eastern on August 8, Balderson had 101,574 votes, O’Connor had 99,820, and Manchik had 1,127. It is expected that many of the provisional ballots will go for the Republican.
Interviews with the far-out Manchik show him wearing a tie-dyed “peace” shirt and looking like a hippie who stumbled straight out of Woodstock. Slurring his words and unable to remember his own campaign web address in one video, the Green Party candidate has some very odd views.
“My distant relatives originally came to planet Earth from a planet orbiting a star in the Pleiades star cluster located in the constellation of Taurus,” declared a Facebook profile belonging to Manchik.
“Manchik also praised the Green Party for advocating that every American should be required to grow hemp,” pointed out The Mail.
It’s all but certain that the thousand or so Green Party voters leaned left, and therefore might have gone Democrat if not for the strange third-party candidate from another planet.
The fact that so many liberals seem more interested in supporting a self-alleged space alien instead of the viable candidate caused celebrity meltdowns as the results came in.
“Dear Green Party: Can you PLEASE wait to make your symbolic votes at a time when our government isn’t being overrun by white supremacists???” demanded exasperated comedian Billy Eichner. He did not explain who the phantom white supremacists running around Ohio were.
“I immediately think the Green Party votes tonight are Russian meddling,” wrote actress Alyssa Milano, conveniently merging conspiracy theories.
“This is an embarrassment,” summarized liberal “Will & Grace” star Debra Messing.
She’s not wrong … but the true embarrassment is that Democrats are so disorganized and off message that they can’t even convince Ohio voters that their candidate is a better choice than a hemp-peddling space alien. Buckle up, because 2018 is getting weird.
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