“I have Champagne for my real friends, and I’m a real pain to my sham friends.” – Dickie Roberts, 2003.
Dickie may certainly have had his problems. Poor taste in chapeaux, that whole weird gloves thing, Alyssa Milano as a girlfriend, the list goes on.
But one thing our anti-hero former child star never did is dump a $42,000 bottle of Champagne while trying to be a showoff.
As the good folks over at Mashable.com noted, some anonymous party-goer at one of Spain’s famed Ibiza Clubs was hamming it up for the crowd whilst busting open a 3-liter (or 4.5-liter, depending on who you listen to) bottle of bubbly.
As Mashable reported, “Originally posted on a Facebook page called Ibiza Club News (party on!), several outlets have referred to the bottle as Champagne worth $42,000.” What? Did Mashable really print “party on!”?
I’m sure the Yiddish have a better exclamation for the klutz in question. Probably something along the lines of “what a yutz.” I’m not even sure what “yutz” means, but it sure does work.
Anyway, Mashable continued with, “That, unfortunately, is probably not true — the general consensus among commenters seems to be that it’s a Jeroboam (3-liter bottle) of Veuve Cliquot rosé. Even after club markups, it would likely sell for way less than $42,000.”
As the the LA Times eruditely pointed out, “Forty-two grand is a lot of money to spend on wasted booze. At least it wasn’t Goût de Diamants 19-carat, $1.8 million bottle – one of the world’s most expensive bottles of Champagne.”
The good folks in the City of the Angels also noted, “And to make matters worse, the fallen bubbly allegedly wasn’t cheap. According to The Drinks Business, the high-end bottle has been widely reported to have cost around £30,000 ($42,500). (The Drinks Business also astutely points out that the size of bottle involved might better be described as a ‘Jeroboam,’ which is 4.5 liters.) It’s unclear which brand is being used in the video, so it’s difficult to verify exact value.”
In the meantime, our British friends at the Mail reported, “He is star of the show, commanding the full attention of the glitzy club. But it all goes wrong.”
Did it ever. As the Mail continued, “Just as he goes to pop the cork the sizable bottle slips from his grasp and falls towards the floor, almost in slow motion. Some reach out in an attempt to save the costly bottle.”
Perhaps best exemplifying that dry economy of words the English are famous for, the Mail added, “But their best attempts are in vain. It smashes on the floor and the precious liquid turns to froth.”
And in a prime example of English wit, the Mail ended on a note of the showoff who fizzled, “His time to shine has turned into a public embarrassment. He looks devastated as he holds his hands to his face.”
So take that, Mashable.
Besides embarrassment, Champagne is also responsible for evoking emotion. Just ask Hillary.
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