So you’re a buzzing node in the liberal media complex. It’s Friday.
You’re huddled at your MacBook in your $4,500-a-month Tribeca studio. A doppio helping of Keurig-made espresso sits in front of you, gathering coldness. This would have been so much better in the little hipster coffee shop where you would usually be creating content. At least the coffee shop is alive because it got a business loan … a loan made possible because of congressional Republicans and signed into law by President Trump.
Republicans. Trump. Those words just stick in your mind like embers of hatred burning up your last neurons of sanity. And as you sit in front of your curved flatscreen, watching the media source you work for, you stew in anger because the politics coverage isn’t just 24 hours of treating those two entities like the Scylla and Charybdis of hatred, loathing, regression and evil anymore. No. You have two more words scorching your gray matter: Tara Reade.
“And today, because we’re forced to report on it, presumptive Democratic presidential nominee and beacon of all that is good and holy, Joe Biden, a man clearly not undergoing cognitive diminishing returns, has been accused of sexual assault by a former aide,” the generic reporter with generic emo glasses on the generic news source you work for would theoretically be saying.
“I think her name is Tara Reade. OK, got that? Good, that’s enough time spent on that. Now, stunning news out of Washington as some Republican actually stood up to them when one of our reporters confronted them. We warn you, some of you might find this footage offensive…”
Tara Reade. How could she? She’s supposed to be liberal, right? Didn’t she know this way more important than whatever she says might have happened to her? Well, at least we’ve got Trump on this one — when he condemns Biden, we can bring up the fact that women accused him of sexual assault! I mean, sure, no one can name one of them that’s not E. Jean Carroll now, and none of them decided to pursue their claims — but that’s unimportant. It’s just a trap — we just have to wait for him to speak and the snare goes off, catching him by the leg …
And the generic newsman comes back. And he says President Trump has been asked about the Reade allegation. This is it. A hush — even more palpable than usual, given the lack of activity in the streets below — descends over your apartment.
“I would just say to Joe Biden, ‘Just go out and fight it,’” Trump said.
“He’s going to have to make his own decision, I’m not going to be telling him what to do,” he continued. “Biden is going to have to go out and fight his own battles.”
He freaking evaded the trap! He evaded it! There’s another word burning in your mind right now. It’s usually bleeped on your network.
That Trump quote is real, by the way. “Just go out and fight it.”
The rest is obviously my febrile imagination, what members of the media establishment will no doubt identify as my perfervid desire to be one of them.
However, there is a certain brilliance to what Trump said. During the Friday interview with conservative radio host Dan Bongino, Trump said that Reade’s allegation was “credible” but didn’t particularly condemn Biden, according to CNBC.
However, he said the best way to deal with allegations like hers was “to get in front of it and I just deny it.”
In short, no, he didn’t condemn Biden. He didn’t take any position on it. He urged the former vice president to fight and that was it. End of story.
There’s nothing to comment on. No hot takes. No takes at all. Nothing like that.
Want to put this kind of paragraph in the story, like The New York Times did when they reported on Reade’s allegation 19 days after it was made?: “President Trump has been accused of sexual assault and misconduct by more than a dozen women, who have described a pattern of behavior that went far beyond the accusations against Mr. Biden. The president also directed illegal payments, including $130,000 to a pornographic film actress, Stormy Daniels, before the 2016 election to silence women about alleged affairs with Mr. Trump, according to federal prosecutors.”
Well, then you have to acknowledge that Trump wants Biden to fight the allegations, too. He doesn’t believe that one should automatically believe all women. You also have to acknowledge that the corroborating evidence for the allegations against Trump was thin at best — and that’s putting it very mildly.
The whole thing with the sexual assault allegations against Biden is that we have to examine the sexual assault allegations against Trump — even though, as I said, try to name one person who made them. This is the brilliance of Trump’s move. This is, to use the shopworn Trump cliché, playing chess while his opponents are playing checkers.
What, if you’re the poor media sap who’s our subject, do you do? Do you agree with the president? Well, then you agree Trump ought to have fought the sexual assault allegations — as he did, and was roundly criticized for it. You also have to admit that there’s just as much corroboration for the Biden allegations as there is for the Trump allegations. You also have to admit that if Biden fights the allegations Reade made, he too should be criticized.
In other words, with just five words of advice to Biden — “go out and fight it” — Trump has is forcing the media to consider taking a course that could destroy the liberals’ current best hope to take on Trump.
Or do you oppose those who fight the allegations? If you do that, you implicate Trump and Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh — and Biden. There’s no consistent application of facts that doesn’t implicate everyone involved — or give the benefit of the doubt to everyone involved.
For Trump’s enemies, it’s a horrible, no-win situation, and Trump has maneuvered the media right into it.
Or what you can say — and what I guarantee our generic media node will say — is that Biden and Trump are different. You can’t consistently apply logic to the two cases. They’re divergent, because … one is Donald Trump and as for the other, as Nancy Pelosi put it in a masterpiece of logic: “Joe Biden is Joe Biden.”
There you go.
That’s your consistency. Your excuse is set, God’s in his heaven and all is right with the world. Suddenly that cold K-cup coffee tastes a little better. You’re not sure whether or not your spirits are lifted because of the caffeine or the fact you have your angle, but hitting those keys feels easier …
No, there’s no more truth emanating from your fingers. You realize, subconsciously, that Donald Trump has won this round. but he’s won so many of them that you’re numb and indifferent. It’ll be one of those days.
And of course, you subconsciously realize Joe Biden is in deep trouble. The media is paying attention to this, much to their discontent. And Donald Trump is smiling. You aren’t. You’re happier than you were before, but you still make another doppio from the Keurig. Yeah, using two K-cups is expensive, but so’s your apartment and it’s going to be a long day — and a long week. If this persists, it might be a long year, too.
Oh, the pain of being a buzzing media node.
Truth and Accuracy
We are committed to truth and accuracy in all of our journalism. Read our editorial standards.