Gym Won't Cancel Membership Over Phone, Sends Them Hilarious Letter Instead


What is one place that has the most difficult time getting users to commit to their service? Most likely, the gym.

Lots of people sign up to meet their New Year goals, or to finally lose that baby weight.

Starting new habits, especially ones that involve getting up early on a weekday morning to go sweat alongside a bunch of strangers, are hard to commit to.

So what do we do? We break up with our gym. We go back to our doughnut and coffee morning ritual. But one particular Reddit user’s literary effort to break up with his gym went viral.

Planet Fitness wouldn’t let me cancel over the phone, and required a certified letter to cancel since I live in a different state now. I dropped this in the mail today. from r/funny

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The exercise chain Planet Fitness is currently running a promotion: “Join today with no commitment. What could be more [thumbs up] then that?” However, for one workout-enthused couple, drastic measures were needed to sever their relationship.

The Reddit user had reportedly tried to let Planet Fitness down easy. He called them on the phone and said it’s not you, it’s me. I’m moving out of state and I want to pursue other workout options.

Planet Fitness did not take this well, and required a certified letter outlining his reasons for abandoning their relationship. After all, they’d had such great times, hadn’t they?

You’ve probably had at least one experience like this. The easy, hassle-free sign-up is not so easy or hassle-free to sign out of: you have to go in person or provide some sort of official documentation to prove you really don’t want to continue service.

The redditor posted a letter to Planet Fitness Corporate on Jan. 26, 2018. What ensued was perhaps one of the funniest farewell letters to hit the internet, at least this year.

He wrote, “I know I’ve been distant, but it’s because I’ve changed. I have different needs now, and to be frank… you really haven’t changed at all.

“You’re still that bulky, purple and yellow building with the tootsie rolls at the counter.” Perhaps the fitness guru realized that it was actually the gym, and not him.

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But he took responsibility for their separation later on in the letter. “I don’t want to change you, and it pains me to think that we were once one, but are now separate and in different places.” A

t least he has the ability to accept the nature of Planet Fitness even though it no longer fits his needs.

He ends with the bittersweet entreaty, “However, all good things must come to an end, and I hope this letter finds you well.

“You just keep being you, and while we will both grow, it will be into our new lives without each other. I think this is for the better.”

Planet Fitness will definitely miss him, but one can only hope that they’ll be able to move on. Sometimes to get over a breakup you just need a fantastic “power-pop workout” and a handful of tootsie rolls.

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A proud reference librarian at San Diego Law Library, Havilah is a recent graduate from iSchool at San Jose State University with her master's in library and information science.
A proud reference librarian at San Diego Law Library, Havilah is a recent graduate from iSchool at San Jose State University with her master's in library and information science. She is passionate about writing and education, and most recently created content for the iStudent blog at SJSU. She is also on the board at SANDALL, a chapter of the American Association of Law Libraries, currently serving as secretary.