Op-Ed: Considering Adoption? Start with Prayer, And Follow God Wherever He May Lead
It is National Adoption Month, and you are likely to see a lot of people making arguments for — and even against — adopting or fostering children. The visibility of adoption in the wake of the overturning of Roe has the conversation at a fever pitch.
This conversation is a little foreign, quite frankly. For my wife and me, the choice to adopt wasn’t political in nature. It was personal and convictional at a level that I sometimes struggle to express.
And I think it’s usually that way for a family, particularly a Christian family. The choice to grow your family through adoption is beautiful and complicated, maybe even messy, and that is OK. Because adoption can be beautiful and messy all at the same time.
So, if you are thinking about making the leap into foster care or adoption, I want to challenge you to begin by praying. God isn’t afraid of difficulty, and he isn’t intimidated by the fear of the unknown. After all, it’s all known to him anyway, and if he’s leading you toward adoption, everything is possible with him.
Becoming family through adoption (or temporary family through foster care) is hard. You can’t deny that brokenness is part of your journey. Sometimes it means embracing children who have suffered greatly, and in the struggle, the brokenness in all of us bubbles to the surface in unexpected and hard moments. In those moments, God’s grace is enough.
Sometimes building your family through adoption means being a family that is a little out of step with everyone else around you. Your friends probably don’t understand some of the choices you make. That’s OK, because you know God has called you to something different and beautiful.
My wife Denise and I knew we were called to parent our children. God showed in more ways than I can count that he was with us every step of the way. Looking back at that clear sense of calling and those moments of confirmation have been and continue to be a source of strength and hope in the hard times.
And there have been hard times along the way, mixed with times of joy and times of peace. Our journey has been a series of moments of calling, moments of conviction, and little steps of obedience. God never pulled back the curtain and showed us where we were going. Odds are good he won’t do that for you either. What he will do is give you certainty in the calling and plenty of chances to see him at work along the way.
I tell adoptive and foster families all the time that we need to be like the children of Israel. Whenever God did something significant for them, they built an altar and worshiped. Why? Because someday, they were going to need to walk by that pile of rocks and remember what God had done. Write a journal or record your journey. It’s amazing how looking back at God’s faithfulness and care can be a source of help in the hard times.
I also think if God has called you to this, it is a little like bowling on one of those alleys set up for kids. It’s impossible to throw a gutter ball. God’s providential hand guides even if it leads us to places and things that we couldn’t see.
That’s why I ask you to make the decision to adopt a decision, first and foremost, to follow God’s will for your family.
There is a lot of noise in the world right now. Some argue that adoption is for everyone. Others make it seem it is for no one. People say the system is too broken to accommodate the vulnerable children coming in the wake of Dobbs.
But, in the midst of the confusion, God’s heart of adoption abides. God loves us with a deep, unending love. He invites us to follow him, to be used by him to love and care for vulnerable children, and to reflect his love in a world that is dying to experience it.
So please take this National Adoption Month to pray. Take this month to see what God may be calling you to do — and to follow him wherever he may lead.
The views expressed in this opinion article are those of their author and are not necessarily either shared or endorsed by the owners of this website. If you are interested in contributing an Op-Ed to The Western Journal, you can learn about our submission guidelines and process here.
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