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People Keep Asking Small Town Police Department if They Need a Fireworks Permit, Freedom-Loving Force Issues Perfect Response

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A small-town New Hampshire police department has issued a both humorous and beautifully patriotic reminder to its citizens that they don’t actually need anyone’s permission to celebrate the Fourth of July in style.

“This is the time of year that people always ask us about obtaining a fireworks permit,” the Marlborough Police Department wrote in a Facebook post on Tuesday.

“Marlborough does not have a fireworks ordinance so permits are not required.”

“If you insist, you can issue yourself a permit using the template pictured below,” the police department wrote.

It was referring to a meme, included within the post, of the character Ron Swanson from the sitcom Parks and Recreation — who is the picture of a freedom-loving patriot — assuring a park ranger, “Not to worry, I have a permit.”

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His permit, of course, is a piece of paper that reads, simply, “I can do what I want.”

The Marlborough Police Department did issue the prudent reminder to still “keep safety a priority, as freedom is best celebrated with ten fingers.”

Good call.

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Just in case anyone might have found its quip about fingers offensive, the department offered a tongue-in-cheek disclaimer in the comments section that “this post is not intended to disparage, exclude, or offend our followers with fewer than ten existing fingers.”

“We really just want everyone to end the holiday with the same number of fingers they started with, whatever amount that may be,” it cheekily clarified.

Facebook users were impressed with both the department’s sense of humor and sense of freedom.

“You guys should be the model and template for all freedom. Hats off. I salute you all, and God Bless your fine Dept,” one commenter wrote.

“If I ever relocate to NH I now know which town,” another user commented.

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Several expressed that they wished their respective towns loved freedom as much, griping about the cost of permits where they lived or how such a requirement enabled “killjoy” neighbors to call the police on those who didn’t bother to obtain one just to set off fireworks on Independence Day.

While some localities may certainly have good reason to impose regulations and fines on the use of fireworks for the sake of preventing deadly wildfires, the point here is that Americans would do well to remember they don’t need to ask permission from their government to do anything at all that the republican government has not yet seen fit to regulate.

In our system, if constitutionally elected legislators haven’t decided while representing the will of we, the people, that we can’t do something, then, well, you’re perfectly free to do it, which is exactly what the Marlborough Police Department was clarifying.

That is, even if such a thing might be dangerous — and this can’t possibly be overstated after a year and a half of pandemic hysteria — it’s dangerous to assume that the mere possibility that someone might harm themselves while engaging in a certain activity means that the state needs to be intimately involved in our every move.

There is nothing more American than reminding citizens on the Fourth of July weekend that they’re free to go wild, should they so choose, and should they be willing to take responsibility for their own actions — and digits.

And God bless America for that. Happy Independence Day, patriots!

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Isa grew up in San Francisco, where she was briefly a far-left socialist before finding Jesus and her husband in Hawaii. She now homeschools their two boys and freelances in the Ozarks.
Isa grew up in San Francisco, where she was briefly a far-left socialist before finding Jesus and her husband in Hawaii. She now homeschools their two boys and freelances in the Ozarks.