Say a little prayer for the first Republican cat person to be elected president.
For all I know, he or she might not be born yet. However, as we know, a president needs a dog, especially if it’s a GOP president. Remember, former President Donald Trump didn’t have a dog — but his successor did, and that makes all the difference in the world.
All you need to know can be seen in the fawning tweets when Major Biden — a rescue German shepherd — was “indogurated” in January.
“Indogurated?” Yeah, that’s what happens when you’re a shelter dog and your owner is going to be the president.
DHA & @pumpkinpetcare invite you & your pup to the world’s largest virtual party for dogs in honor of Major Biden’s Indoguration! Zoom in host of @TODAYshow‘s @JillMartin @SirDariusBrown 1/17 at 3pm EST
All donations support us at DHA directly! RSVP here: https://t.co/TqGDfuhR7z pic.twitter.com/OSU97hwupz
— Delaware Humane Association (@delawarehumane) January 8, 2021
— NBC10 Philadelphia (@NBCPhiladelphia) January 13, 2021
There you go. And just remember, Major is a rescue dog, taken in by the Bidens when he was just an abandoned pup in 2018.
That’s a very sweet story, but Major’s bite count now stands at two — that we know of, at least.
According to CNN, the 3-year-old dog was involved in “another biting incident that required medical attention” on Monday. The White House said he “nipped” someone with the National Park Service while on the South Lawn of the White House.
“Yes, Major nipped someone on a walk. Out of an abundance of caution, the individual was seen by [White House medical unit] and then returned to work without injury,” said first lady Jill Biden’s press secretary, Michael LaRosa.
Here’s the issue. Yes, Major Biden is a rescue dog. We’ve been told that a million times. Yes, he’s the first rescue dog in the White House, as we’ve been told over and over again.
Should he have been?
This isn’t to disparage rescue dogs, mind you. I have two of my own. Neither is a German shepherd, however.
Mia, German Shepherd (2 y/o), W 9th & Hicks St., Brooklyn, NY • “Very high energy.” pic.twitter.com/XOh1X4QeHt
— The Dogist (@thedogist) February 22, 2018
Take the American Kennel Club’s description of the German shepherd: It’s a “very active and athletic breed” that requires lots of exercise for its physical and mental well-being.
“A dog who is not exercised enough will become frustrated and likely to develop undesirable behaviors,” the organization’s website reads.
Joe Biden is a 78-year-old man. His hairline is significantly younger, granted. However, the rest of him isn’t youthful or energetic. Witness the fact that Major broke his foot in December.
“What happened was I got out of the shower. I got a dog and anybody who’s been around my house knows — dropped, little pup dropped a ball in front of me. And for me to grab the ball,” Biden told CNN after the foot-breaking incident.
“And I’m walking through this little alleyway to get to the bedroom. And I grabbed the ball like this and he ran,” he continued.
“And I was joking, running after him to grab his tail. And what happened was that he slid on a throw rug. And I tripped on the rug he slid on. That’s what happened. Oh man, not [a] very exciting story.”
Biden explains his foot injury:
“I’m walking through this little alleyway to get to the bedroom and I grabbed the ball like this and he ran and I was joking running after him to grab his tail. And what happened was he slipped on a throw rug and I tripped on the rug he slid on” pic.twitter.com/o9ARgpJpfD
— Daily Caller (@DailyCaller) December 4, 2020
And the president is sticking by his dog — as he no doubt should, in this case.
“You turn a corner, and there’s two people you don’t know at all. And [Major] moves to protect,” Biden said of Major’s first biting incident, which involved a member of his security team.
“But he’s a sweet dog. Eighty-five percent of the people there love him. He just — all he does is lick them and wag his tail. But … I realize some people, understandably, are afraid of dogs to begin with.”
— Good Morning America (@GMA) March 17, 2021
Granted, Biden is able to outsource a lot of Major’s care to those around him. However, the rescue dog has now moved into the busiest house on earth, one that also functions as the workplace for the leader of the free world. Are we supposed to pretend that’s the kind of environment a high-energy dog into?
Again, Major being alive beats Major not being alive. The story of how Joe Biden adopted Major is adorable, even though his adopter is a bombastic, dissembling plagiarist.
Are we to pretend that he couldn’t have called a few friends and gotten Major a home? They knew this would likely be a man in the running for the presidency of the United States. If they had the time and energy, why wouldn’t they? At the very least, it’s an interesting backstory into how you got your dog. “This? Oh, my good friend Joe Biden suggested I get it.”
This isn’t to say definitively that Biden shouldn’t have adopted Major. This is biting incident No. 2, however. I’m not saying he’s not a cute dog and fun with the right owner, but wouldn’t a poodle have been more sensible — particularly given Major was a rescue?
Biden was in his mid-70s and running for the most exigent and strenuous job on the planet in late 2018 when Major was adopted. Don’t just laud him for getting any rescue dog. He owed it to the dog and to those around him to pick the right one.
Major is not just a prop for a photo shoot or a way for Biden to prove he was more human than Trump, after all.
And it’s worth noting there are plenty of cats at most shelters, too.
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