Woke Presbyterians Go to War So Pastors Can Keep Having Sex with Multiple Partners at the Same Time
It seems like it’s been a big 2026 for woke Presbyterians.
First, “Presbyterian seminarian” James Talarico — a Texas state representative who says that “God is nonbinary” and rattles off heresies like most of us rattle off a complicated Starbucks order — became not only the Democratic nominee for Senate but the new face of a “purple Texas” and of liberal Christianity.
Now, we have woke Presbyterians undermining the woke Presbyterian values Talarico claims to represent, fighting to keep polyamorous relationships from being barred by the church.
But not among the “faithful,” mind you. The clergy. There are people who call themselves Christians who are fighting to stop a measure that would require men and women of the cloth to be in monogamous relationships.
From Religious News Service, June 4:
The overture, CON-10, has generated strong reactions online but not yet earned broad support from PCUSA groups. A separate proposal asks for theological studies on gender and sexuality, life-giving relationships and the Christian vocation of family that would support the denomination’s commitment to inclusion of different familial realities. Together, these overtures show that as polyamory gains visibility in broader culture, it may have policy implications, especially in theologically progressive Christian denominations.
“I think it is the next big conversation that most mainline denominations will have,” said the Rev. Claudia Aguilar Rubalcava, director of engagement for the LGBTQ-affirming nonprofit More Light Presbyterians.
The Bible foretells of a “great falling away” of so-called Christians before the end - is that what we’re seeing right now?The board and staff of More Light Presbyterians released a statement last month, saying the proposal on monogamy targets queer communities.
“It centers a single model of relationship as the only faithful expression of Christian life, ignoring both the breadth of biblical witness and the lived realities of many faithful people,” the statement says. “Scripture speaks richly about covenant, mutuality, justice, and love but does not prescribe one uniform relational structure across all contexts.”
Yeah, it centers “a single model of relationship” spelled out very specifically as the only biblically and spiritually tenable form of relationship “as the only faithful expression of Christian life.” Imagine that.
And if you want your queer polycule? Fine, apparently: Just don’t take the pulpit. This is the harsh “judgment” the church is apparently going to mete out.
It’s also worth noting that, by protesting, “More Light Presbyterians” are effectively admitting that they cannot follow biblical proscriptions on unbiblical relationships aside from LGBTLMNOPQ+ arrangements; we’ve always been told by the woke contingent that homosexuals or bisexuals or transgender people just wanted to play by the same rules spiritually. Now they admit they can’t follow them.
From the New York Post:
The new proposed rule, known as CON-10, does not mention sexual orientation or same-sex relationships. Instead, it targets multipartner relationships, arguing that the practice of polyamory or polygamy can create “power imbalances, emotional harm, and spiritual confusion,” particularly for women, children, and historically marginalized persons.
Advertisement - story continues belowThe rule, submitted by the Sierra Blanca Presbytery, states that PC(USA) pastors must “display moral character” and, “if engaged in any relationship of a sexual nature, living in a monogamous one.” The rule also asks the church to develop pastoral resources to help people leaving “polyamorous or polygamous situations.”
Which they should. Let’s do a quick survey, shall we?
Genesis 2:24: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
Matthew 19:4–6: “He answered, ‘Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh”?’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
Deuteronomy 17:17: “And he shall not acquire many wives for himself, lest his heart turn away.”
Leviticus 18:18: “And you shall not take a woman as a rival wife to her sister, uncovering her nakedness while her sister is still alive.”
It’s almost as if liberal denominations took away virtually any check on same-sex relationships and the LGBT community said, “Well, ackshully, we still need a bit more leeway here …” Slippery slopes are real, kids.
It’s not just them, either. Three official PCUSA advisory committees came out against it, the Post noted.
In its official response, the Advocacy Committee for Women and Gender Justice claimed that requiring pastors to be monogamous attempts to “regulate the private lives and relational structures of individuals in ways that risk harm rather than healing.” The committee further argued that a monogamy mandate could “unintentionally reinforce systems of shame, silence, and spiritual coercion.”
The Advocacy Committee on LGBTQIA+ Equity also argued that the monogamy rule reinforced White privilege. …
A third panel, the Advisory Committee on Social Witness Policy, also disapproved of the measure, arguing that it should be rejected in favor of a separate proposal to study “diverse understandings of relationships.”
Well, now it’s not just homosexuals and transgender-identifying individuals who can’t keep biblical edicts on sexuality. It’s minorities, too — because this is all white privilege, delivered via prophets to people who decidedly weren’t white in a place that certainly wasn’t Europe. Who gets blamed next? The one-armed man? Canada? The “boogie”?
We’ve finally made it, I think: The moment where parts of actual for-real Christianity begin to really resemble the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, the anti-religious group of queer hedonists who cosplay as nuns to shock whoever is left to be shocked by this. (The sad answer to that question is, not many.)
This should prompt outrage, and plenty of it. Instead, one just feels disgust and resignation; leave these people to their own fate, which they’re certainly inviting upon themselves. As Some Guy they claim to revere as the Son of God once said of those who desire their own earthly comfort and desires over the strictures of Christianity: “Truly I say to you, they have received their reward.”
As for actual Christians — for there is no difference between this PCUSA crowd and the rest of the secular world — it’s worth noting that 2 Thessalonians speaks of the fact that the end times shall not come “except there come a falling away first.” I’m the last person to believe end-times prophecies, usually. Darned if the PCUSA isn’t tempting me to become a new proselyte.
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