Angela Box: There She Is, Miss... Whatever You Want To Call Her


Almost daily we are barraged with societal upheaval that makes heartland Americans scratch their heads and say “Huh?”

This week, the Miss America Organization — emphasis on “Miss” (but not for long, because it’s discriminatory!) — decided it would no longer have contestants wear bathing suits or evening wear in the pageant.

Furthermore, they would no longer call it a pageant. It’s a competition!

Of course, with the rabbit hole into which we are rapidly descending, I’m sure the word “competition” will soon be banned as well.

Just exactly with what are these girls supposed to be competing, if not primarily on their appearance, poise and presence? Let’s not kid ourselves. The best cello player from Montana is invariably going to get beaten out by a Texas girl who sings Amazing Grace. It’s just the way life is.

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Instead of swimsuits or evening wear, the young ladies will be told to wear outfits that make them feel “confident.” This is completely subjective and ridiculous.

It is my sincere hope that some girl schleps around on stage in yoga pants and a sweatshirt covered with peanut butter and jelly stains. Better yet, just throw on a pair of Birkenstocks and call it a day.

If you take away the swimsuit and evening wear portions of the competition, you will lose any eyeballs that still remain glued to the pageant. Over the last few years, pageants in general have seen declining ratings. I guess they just want to stick a fork in the Miss America pageant completely.

But before they completely kill it off, they’ll bash us over our heads with social messaging approved by the left.

During the interview section, if a contestant wants to lament about how a man whistled at her once for her very own #MeToo moment — great. Want to champion environmental justice or decry police brutality? Fabulous!

How about a sincere wish to protect the unborn or the traditional family? Oh, tsk-tsk, sweetie. That’ll never fly.

Since we’re changing the whole idea of the Miss America pageant, doesn’t the idea of a Miss “America” sound awfully jingoistic and xenophobic? I think the organizers should be more inclusive and invite people from other countries.

In addition, I think that contestants should be encouraged to wear full burqas on stage. After all, we must respect all cultures!

And while we’re on the subject of equality, why can’t men be in the Miss America pageant? After all, we now have girls in the Boy Scouts. This seems awfully backward and bigoted to me!

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Of course, expect the transgender community to demand that transgender women be allowed to compete in the Miss America pageant. In fact, since they couldn’t win a state on their own (coming up the ranks like the other girls do), I am sure that a new special category will be made so our transgender “sisters” can feel included in the Miss America pageant.

But never fear LGBTXYZ! I have no doubt that soon pageants — excuse me: competitions — near and far well soon acquiesce to your demands.

I mean, you got the special bathrooms at Target, why not Miss America? In fact, Target could be your sponsor. Get on it, ladies!

If you take this charade to its logical conclusion, as leftists would like us to do, you cannot help but expect these further changes to occur in the organization. We might as well get it started now, for the sake of “progress.”

Naturally, the end result will be the elimination of the entire Miss America brand — which has been the leftists’ goal from Day One.

You have to hand it to them: Leftists are nothing if not consistent — consistently destructive.

Gird your loins, Miss America!

Angela Box is a former teacher, devoted to the Constitution and conservatism and proud to live in Texas. She currently works with a political consultant on candidate races throughout America. A version of this Op-Ed originally appeared on her blog,

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Angela Box is a former teacher, devoted to the Constitution and conservatism and proud to live in Texas. She currently works with a political consultant on candidate races throughout America.