Porch Pirate Stoops to New Low by Reportedly Leaving Snarky Thank-You Note After Swiping Package

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It’s generally a polite gesture to write a thank-you note when someone does something kind for you and you want to recognize their efforts.

A thank-you note from a thief seems paradoxical, but that’s exactly what a Minnesota woman says she got.

Hilary Smith, who lives in the Minneapolis–Saint Paul metropolitan area, had ordered a Christmas gift and scheduled for it to be delivered to her home.

When she went home to get it, she says she found a piece of paper on her porch steps instead of the box she expected.

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It was a handwritten note — a thank-you note — from a person who signed off as “The new owner of your package.”

“I looked down and there was a piece of notebook paper folded neatly on the top step,” Smith told WCCO. “So I picked it up, read it, it basically was a ‘thank you’ note for letting me steal your package.”

“I do appreciate a nicely crafted ‘thank you’ note, but this is ridiculous. I was angry and confused and quite flabbergasted someone would actually leave a ‘thank you’ note when they steal a package.”

“It’s brazen and arrogant,” she continued. “Just making sure we raise awareness that this is really happening, and I don’t want people to have their holiday season wrecked to have something big stolen from them.”

Have you ever had a package stolen by a porch pirate?

Since the beginning of October, 94 packages have been reported stolen in St. Paul alone, police told WCCO.

The St. Paul Police Department picked up Smith’s story and shared it to Facebook on Friday, along with some helpful tips on how to avoid being the victim of package theft this year.

“Porch pirates are the scourge of the holiday season, creeping around neighborhoods at all hours of the day, tip-toeing up to homes, stealing packages that don’t belong to them,” police wrote.

Even the cops seemed shocked at the new twist that this bold and apparently shameless thief displayed — a development in the porch pirate MO.

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“And now they’re leaving … … … thank you notes?” the post continued.

St. Paul Police Sergeant Mike Ernster told WCCO that this was a first for them: “It’s something we’ve never seen before, and I don’t know what to chalk it up to. It’s so unheard of.”

“Know that we’re doing all we can to identify and arrest these Scrooges (see: bait packages),” police reassured readers in their Facebook post.

“But we could also use your help to prevent these crimes. Here are five things you can do to prevent a porch pirate from stealing your stuff…”

St. Paul Police suggested that people who have packages delivered have them sent to Amazon lockers for pick-up, have them dropped off at their work address or with a trusted neighbor or even just require a signature for delivery.

Ernster also urged the public to “report crimes as they occur so we can keep track of them and hopefully solve them.”

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Amanda holds an MA in Rhetoric and TESOL from Cal Poly Pomona. After teaching composition and logic for several years, she's strayed into writing full-time and especially enjoys animal-related topics.
As of January 2019, Amanda has written over 1,000 stories for The Western Journal but doesn't really know how. Graduating from California State Polytechnic University with a MA in Rhetoric/Composition and TESOL, she wrote her thesis about metacognitive development and the skill transfer between reading and writing in freshman students.
She has a slew of interests that keep her busy, including trying out new recipes, enjoying nature, discussing ridiculous topics, reading, drawing, people watching, developing curriculum, and writing bios. Sometimes she has red hair, sometimes she has brown hair, sometimes she's had teal hair.
With a book on productive communication strategies in the works, Amanda is also writing and illustrating some children's books with her husband, Edward.
Austin, Texas
Languages Spoken
English und ein bißchen Deutsch
Topics of Expertise
Faith, Animals, Cooking