When it comes to resolving arguments, violence shouldn’t the answer. But apparently, when a pair of St. Johns, Florida, neighbors got into a dispute over property lines, the answer was for one to hop on his tractor and chase his neighbor around the driveway.
Even imagining the scene itself is comical, especially when compared to the similar image of a certain steamroller scene from Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery.
If you aren’t familiar with the scene, here’s the gist: Notorious special agent Austin Powers and spy Vanessa Kensington attempt to flee guards in a steamroller factory on a rather slow steamroller.
As the steamroller crawls in his direction, one guard pleads for them to stop, apparently unaware he can easily evade danger by simply stepping to the side. Powers begs the man to move out of the way, but alas, another five seconds pass before the guard is ultimately, well, steamrolled.
The longstanding feud between the Florida men finally came to a head last month, when 72-year-old Morris Howell decided he’d had enough.
By 8 p.m. that evening, police received a call from the wife of Scott Lynch, the man being pursued by their rogue neighbor and his tractor.
“He came after my husband with his tractor and I don’t know if he is armed at all,” Lynch’s wife said to the operator.
Naturally, the operator was thrown off by the odd call, wondering if there was indeed a “high-speed” pursuit of the tractor variety taking place.
“He chased him down on his tractor and my husband had to run, yes,” she told the operator, according to Fox News.
Lynch managed to evade being run down by his crazed neighbor and hid in his garage while he called the cops.
Ultimately, Howell was arrested by police after Lynch’s wife showed them the video, which clearly shows Howell “steer the tractor toward the victim as he was running down his driveway.”
Howell was later charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon without intent to kill and was ordered not to have any contact with his neighbor.
While the tragically steamrolled guard was never brought the justice he deserved (especially in light of the fact that the scene of his wife and son mourning his death was ultimately deleted from the final movie), Lynch and his wife can rest easy knowing that for the foreseeable future, their neighbor and his tractor legally cannot come within a couple hundred feet of them.
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