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Someone Looked up Schumer's Last Name on Ancestry.com, Made Shocking Discovery

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File this one under the category of “shocking, but not surprising” — Chuck Schumer’s last name means exactly what you think it does.

The Senate minority leader has been in Congress for more than two decades, while Ancestry.com traces its roots to the very non-digital year of 1984.

In spite of this, no one bothered looking the former’s name up with the latter until someone from Big League Politics decided to do it.

As it turns out, while the last name may not have been given to him, it couldn’t be more perfect:

“German: unexplained,” the report reads. “North German (Schümer): nickname from Middle Low German schumer ‘good-for-nothing’, ‘vagabond.'”

Now, that’s a bit harsh. There are a few things he’s good for.

For instance, he’s very good at getting in front of cameras. The two most dangerous places to be are between a mother bear and her cub and Schumer and a reporter’s camera.

I remember when I lived outside of New York City. One Labor Day, Schumer appeared no less than three times in a half-hour newscast on a local station.

Is Chuck Schumer your least favorite Democrat?

One had to do with a speech he gave at a Labor Day parade for organized labor. In another clip, he was calling for Southwest Airlines’ 737s to be thoroughly examined. I honestly forget what the third clip was, except that it existed and had me laughing in utter disbelief.

Now, did he say anything of substance in any of those clips? No. Did his sagacity, experience and wisdom qualify him in any way to opine on the issue at hand, or to shed any light on it? No. Did he manage to get himself on TV anyway? Yes.

See, good for something.

Oh yes, he’s good at other things, too. Hypocrisy? A-number-one.

“People who enter the United States without our permission are illegal aliens, and illegal aliens should not be treated the same as people who entered the United States legally,” Schumer said in 2010.

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Eight years later, he helped shut down the government in order to win rights for illegal aliens to be “treated the same as people who entered the United States legally,” to use his own words.

He once talked about suspending refugee entry into the United States a little more than a year before he began fighting President Donald Trump over doing the same thing.

He thought congressional obstructionism was bad — provided, of course, the president was Barack Obama. Now, he thinks it’s the most wonderful thing since sliced bread.

So, hypocrisy? He’s fairly good at that.

I know the rule of threes would normally compel me to come up with a third thing that he’s purportedly “good” at, but the empty career of Schumer isn’t enough to compel me to do that. This is a man whose entire career has been built on the shallowest of foundations — on political expediency instead of intrinsic values, on exposure rather than execution.

He really is “good-for-nothing.” And yet, he still hopes to ride the mainstream media’s wave of anti-conservative sentiment to yet another stint lording the Senate in the 2018 midterms.

May God help us all.

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C. Douglas Golden is a writer who splits his time between the United States and Southeast Asia. Specializing in political commentary and world affairs, he's written for Conservative Tribune and The Western Journal since 2014.
C. Douglas Golden is a writer who splits his time between the United States and Southeast Asia. Specializing in political commentary and world affairs, he's written for Conservative Tribune and The Western Journal since 2014. Aside from politics, he enjoys spending time with his wife, literature (especially British comic novels and modern Japanese lit), indie rock, coffee, Formula One and football (of both American and world varieties).
Birthplace
Morristown, New Jersey
Education
Catholic University of America
Languages Spoken
English, Spanish
Topics of Expertise
American Politics, World Politics, Culture




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